Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, human society has evolved and the position of women has changed a great deal over past 50 years. However, it is said that these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality and I strongly agree with this. Even in this 21st century, the societies don't have the moral right to declare themselves as the society of gender equality because of the existing status of women and their so called freedom and power.

To begin with, we all are well aware of how far the women have come with their perseverence and determination. But, we can't ignore the fact that the present women still deal with what the women in the past used to deal with. For example, the women are still openly objectified by so called dignified men and no one dares to raise the eyebrows against such males. We really need the answer on why are these things so normalised. Women are still the victims of harrassment, rape, domestic violence and many more and the society doesn't seem to care enough which is disheartening. Although, women have reached this far and achieved all hights that is equal or even more than men can, the status of women in the society is still questionable.

Furthermore, the society claims that the women have achieved the freedom as they can study and do jobs but why is the word freedom used here? Why is the same situation ia taken normal for men and for female it's freedom. This is really confusing. Yes, the present women are educated and employed and they are still expected to finish all the household chores of family before they leave for work. So, where's the equality here? For instance, most the working women often complain of tiredness they suffer because of jobs and household duties. Still the decision making is done by males only in various societies.

In conclusion, although the status of present women in slightly better than that in the past, they still suffer. Some women suffer silently and those who can voice their suffering are often misjudged by the society itself. Thus, these societies definitely cannot claim to have achieved gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I strongly agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the question with relevant points about violence and objectification, unequal domestic responsibilities, and male-dominated decision-making. The examples about working women balancing employment and household chores help explain why social change has not produced equality. However, some claims are broad rather than fully supported: for example, “no one dares to raise the eyebrows” and “decision making is done by males only” would be more convincing with a specific example or qualification. The discussion of women’s progress is also brief. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with clearer explanation and a concrete illustration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting distinct reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. The central ideas are generally grouped appropriately, especially the separation between violence and social expectations at home. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical or the links between points are abrupt. The series of questions in the second body paragraph (“why is the word freedom used here?” and “So, where’s the equality here?”) interrupts the explanatory flow. Some references, such as “these societies” and “the present women,” could also be more precise. Use fewer rhetorical questions and connect claims through explanation and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “objectified,” “domestic violence,” “decision making,” “household chores,” and “misjudged.” These choices help communicate the main concerns, and some less common terms show an attempt to express ideas precisely. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “raise the eyebrows against,” “achieved all hights,” and “the society of gender equality.” Spelling errors including “perseverence,” “harrassment,” and “hights” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “women,” “society,” and “freedom” limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling; for example, use “challenge such behaviour” rather than “raise the eyebrows against” and “make progress towards equality” rather than “achieved all hights.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses (“Although women have reached this far…”) and questions used to develop your argument. The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include “over past 50 years” (missing an article), “the present women is slightly better” (agreement and comparison structure), and “most the working women” (missing a determiner). The clause “why are these things so normalised” is also incorrectly formed within an indirect question; write “why these things are so normalised.” Punctuation around “Although” and some long sentences needs attention. To improve, check articles, subject–verb agreement, and embedded question word order, while keeping complex sentences controlled.

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