Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The disparity between men and women needs proper attention. I completely agree that even though a great deal of development has happened regarding women's right, gender equality has not been ensured yet. Women have to face discrimination in various sectors in life.

A lot has changed between the time women could not vote and now, when they actively play a role in the politics. Moreover, women have gained milestones in terms of economical aspect. In the past, they could not open a bank account independently without permission from a male. So. women do have more rights and options than before.

However, these achievements does not mean that men and women hold the same position. First of all, although women can do jobs there is payment gap. Employers have biases that women would not be able to work as much as their counterpart. Also, women are punished for motherhood as they need maternity leave. So, men get more salary and favour in terms of getting a job. For example, an employer thinks that if he gives the job to a female, they will need to give maternity leave. But if they hire a male, they can work without a long break. For this reason women also sometimes accept the payment gap. Furthermore, just because a women has a job, it does not free her from the household works. There is still deep rooted societal thinking that cooking. cleaning and taking care of the children are women's responsibility. Thus, women have to work double when she gets the opportunity to have a career. This becomes a burden on her. She also has to face critisism about not giving enough time to her family. But a male can focus on his career without these hurdles.

In conclusion, women have basic rights that would make them more independent, confident and successful. But society does not give them the same benefits and opportunities. Without the change in mindset of the society gender equality would be hard to achieve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that progress in women’s rights has not yet produced equality, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both change over time and continuing inequality, supporting your argument with examples about voting, financial independence, pay, maternity leave and domestic responsibilities. These relevant points are extended with explanations, particularly the employer’s concern about maternity leave and the double burden of paid work and housework. Some claims, such as women accepting a pay gap and employers generally favouring men, are broad and would be more convincing with a specific example or qualification. Developing the historical progress point with a clearer comparison would also make the discussion more balanced and fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the second paragraph describes progress, the third develops remaining inequalities, and the conclusion returns to your position. Transitions such as “However,” “First of all,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument, and the main ideas are generally sequenced logically. To make the progression more consistently smooth, avoid relying so heavily on explicit signposting and connect related points more precisely. For example, the shift from pay discrimination to household work is understandable, but could be bridged by explaining how unequal expectations operate both at work and at home. Some references, including “they” in the employer example, could also be clearer about whom they refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss social change and inequality, including “discrimination,” “maternity leave,” “payment gap,” “independently” and “societal thinking.” These terms make the argument clear, and some phrases show an attempt to express complex ideas, such as “work double” and “same benefits and opportunities.” However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “women’s right,” “economical aspect,” “gained milestones” and “household works.” Spelling errors such as “cr itisism” (written as “critisism”) also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic combinations and check word forms and spelling; this would make your vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complicated language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including concessive clauses (“although women can do jobs”) and conditional reasoning (“if they hire a male”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the argument remains easy to follow. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “these achievements does not mean” has subject–verb disagreement, while “a women” has an incorrect article and plural form. In “when they actively play a role in the politics,” the article is unnecessary, and “when she gets the opportunity” shifts from the plural subject “women” to a singular pronoun. Punctuation also needs attention in “So. women” and “cooking. cleaning.” Review agreement, articles, pronoun consistency and sentence punctuation while retaining your varied sentence patterns.

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