Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed that the role of women has been developed in different cultures over the past few decades. However, some people argue that there are still fewer opportunities for women compared to men. This essay disagrees with the statement.

In modern world, the role of women, apart from the household management, has been incorporated in men dominated fields like engineering, technology, military, politics, and other scientific as well as non-scientific areas of management. This is because it has been observed that women can equally or in some case better perform than men and sometimes used to fill-in the deficiency created by the men, where necessary. For example, the then male dominated society of Pakistan, witnessed its first female Prime Minister, Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto, in 1990s, who defeated all of her opponents in the general elections of the country. Her performace as the Prime Minister was recorded relatively better than the previous military dictator, General Zia-ul-Haq (Late), and country's economic situation improved in her tenure.

Secondly, the women have been recognized to contribute to social development of the society and subsequently the coming generations. This is the reason that women have been granted equal right to pursue their education, right to marry by their will, and right to file for divorce, because the better upbringing of the children and their mental well-being is being widely considered as the responsibility of the women, and for that women have been granted to take necessary steps for her life. For instance, in Pakistan, women have been given autonomy to file for divorce and also they have been given special women special quotas in all fields of education.

In conclusion, the role of women has been well recognized in all scientific and non-scientific fields of like due to their equal performance as of men and they have been given special as well as equal opportunities in terms of education and to decide their own will.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position by saying, “This essay disagrees,” and support it with examples about women’s participation in public life and education in Pakistan. These points are relevant, but the response only partly addresses the central claim that societies have not achieved gender equality. Much of the discussion shows that women have gained rights or opportunities, rather than examining whether substantial inequalities remain or explaining why the changes amount to equality. The claims about Benazir Bhutto’s performance and women’s rights are also asserted without enough explanation or qualification. To strengthen the response, define what equality involves and develop a more direct comparison of women’s and men’s opportunities across areas such as work, pay, or decision-making.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs introduced by “In modern world” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The examples are generally placed alongside the points they are intended to support, so the reader can follow the broad line of argument. However, progression is limited because the two body paragraphs largely list areas of women’s rights and contributions without clearly building a case about whether gender equality has been achieved. Some links are mechanical, particularly repeated “This is because” and “This is the reason.” The long sentence beginning “This is the reason that women have been granted…” also combines several claims, making their relationship harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “male dominated fields,” “social development,” “autonomy,” and “economic situation,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “women,” “men,” “role,” and “given,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward. For example, “the role of women…has been incorporated in men dominated fields” does not express the intended idea naturally, while “special women special quotas” is unclear and repetitive. There are also spelling errors, including “performace.” Aim for more precise language to discuss equality, such as representation, access, and equal rights, and check collocations and spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “where,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, complex constructions are often faulty or difficult to control. For example, “women can equally or in some case better perform than men and sometimes used to fill-in the deficiency” shifts awkwardly between structures, and “women have been granted to take necessary steps” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. There are also recurring issues with articles and agreement, as in “In modern world” and “in some case,” as well as an unclear sentence structure in the second body paragraph. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using controlled subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement and articles.

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