Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Is is clearly seen that gender equality is necessary in our society nowadays but they are not accepting According to me I totally agree with this given statement because as a man I realise that women has changed a huge role in our area over the past decades Some individuals are not ready to accept that women has a great impact in our community If I talk about my area this impact has changed over a past time The reason of this change is that World is becoming digital So in this digital era of life everyone needs to be a successful person in his life So I think this is the big reason that people are not accepting that women role has changed and Some people are not ready to accept this because of gender equity Apart from this In my point of view community needs to accept this point about women Because Its my personal experience since last 10 years As a human being I have seen in my area that some societies are tired of being a good human being they are not ready to think about gender equality and the reason behind is that everyone wants to be a rich and successful person because they want to show other people that thay have only courage to live a good life So In my opinion this is the reason that the human beings who are living in this digital era of world they are not ready to think about womens gender equality

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I totally agree”—and refer to changes in women’s roles and the need for communities to accept gender equality. However, the response only minimally addresses the central claim that societies have not yet achieved equality. It does not explain clearly what inequalities remain or give a specific example, such as differences in pay, leadership, or domestic responsibilities. Several points about digital life, wealth, and success are difficult to connect to the question, so the reasons do not adequately support your position. To strengthen the response, explain two relevant ways women’s status has improved and why these changes still fall short of equality, supporting each point with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a recognisable overall direction: you introduce your agreement and then refer to personal experience and community attitudes. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the response moves between women’s changing roles, digital life, wealth, and people’s attitudes without showing how these points connect. Linking phrases such as “Apart from this” and “In my point of view” are repeated or do not establish a clear relationship between ideas. References such as “this impact” and “this point” are also unclear. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs with one main idea each, and a conclusion. Use linking expressions only when they accurately show the connection between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the general topic, with relevant expressions such as “gender equality,” “community,” and “successful person.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “not ready to accept” and “in my opinion.” Some word choices or combinations make the meaning unclear, including “women has changed a huge role,” “tired of being a good human being,” and “gender equity” where the argument appears to concern equality. These choices can make it difficult for the reader to understand your intended point. Build a more precise set of topic-related expressions and check that each phrase fits its context; for example, describe specific changes in women’s roles rather than referring vaguely to “this impact.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because” and “since,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and these longer constructions are often difficult to follow. Errors in agreement and sentence formation occur in phrases such as “women has changed” and “everyone needs to be a successful person in his life.” Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly the opening and the extended sentence beginning “As a human being.” This makes relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, pronoun agreement, and sentence boundaries, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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