Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Gender discrimination is an important issue in many societies. Women play a significant role in shaping many communities over the past 50 years though these socities cannot ensure gender equality because of their male dominating behaviour. I completely agree with the statements that some socities exploit women inspite of having great contribution to build up the particular community.

Some socities don't want to provide equal opportunities for men and women. This is because these socities are primarily follow patriachal pattern and male dominating behaviour. People from these socities, donot want to break this pattern and thats why they dominate women. They always think women arenot equal to men from the perspective of capacities, intelligence and physical strength. So, men from the socities always assume that women are dependent because they donot have the quality to achieve freedom. As a result gender discrimination has taken place in these socities.

On the other hand, in this mordern era, societies always focus on equality. They control gender discrimination by laws and regulations because they have noticed the importance of women to build up a family from the scratch. In addition, they want to give different opportunities for women to make them self-independent. For example many countries offer various skill development programme which develop women's knowledge and make them skilled. As a result they have the opportunity to earn.

In my opinion, women have always played a signifiant role in every socities from the begining. So all socities should ensure the equality and make sure that there is no discrimination between men and women.

In conclusion, it can be said that several socities cannot ensure geneder equality though these soceties know that women is important for their future development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and the introduction and conclusion both reinforce this view. You also address change over time by mentioning women’s contributions and modern laws and opportunities. The discussion is relevant, but some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that men consider women less capable is not supported with a specific example, and the paragraph about modern societies giving women opportunities does not fully explain how this coexists with continuing inequality. Develop these ideas with concrete examples—such as unequal pay, representation, or access to leadership—and make the contrast between progress and remaining barriers more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand,” “In addition,” and “As a result” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some references are unclear or repetitive. For example, “these societies” is repeated frequently, while “they” in the sentence about laws and regulations could refer either to societies or governments. The contrast between ongoing discrimination and modern efforts to promote equality also needs a clearer connection. Use more precise references and organise each paragraph around one main claim, followed by explanation and a relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender discrimination,” “equal opportunities,” “laws and regulations,” and “self-independent,” showing an adequate range for the subject. Some attempts at more formal or less common language are not accurate or natural, however. Phrases such as “male dominating behaviour,” “build up a family from the scratch,” and “ensure the equality” weaken precision, while repeated use of “societies” makes the writing less varied. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “socities,” “patriachal,” and “geneder.” Choose more natural collocations and proofread carefully; greater accuracy and variety would make your argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and result clauses with “As a result.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “these societies are primarily follow” combines incompatible verb forms, and “women is important” has a subject–verb agreement error. Other examples include “women arenot equal” and “they donot have,” where spacing and sentence construction need attention. Articles and plural forms also require more consistent control. Review verb patterns after adverbs, agreement between subjects and verbs, and the use of articles. More accurate complex sentences would help you express the relationships between ideas with greater control.

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