Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

For the past few decades female position in society has changed dramatically; but the society is still under gender war, I believe it is partially right to some extent.

Although womens are now dominating in almost every other field. This whole change in society came from a long way. Professions that were categorised for males are now more open to females such as police as they are often better at making quicks decisions as they do not have extreme emotions like men. For instance, many educational institutes are hiring females over men for wellbeing as women are more emotionally available than men. Fashion industry rose since womens have opened their boutiques as majority of women purchase more clothes than men and have a better fashion sense overall.

While there are more opportunities for women but still many high positons are locked for men especially in corperate world. Companies are more open to hire men as their senior staff members, whereas if a women is hired simultaneously to another senior position, her pay will be considerably less and salaries for the female staff differ by huge number as compare to men.

Moreover, sometime females are given unfair treatment at jobs because many people believe it is easier to oppress women.

Overall, I am driven to conclusion that although womens are now participating in almost every profession, but still there inequalities that can not be overlooked such as low pay and gender discrimination.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a relevant, partly qualified position: women’s opportunities have expanded, but equality has not been achieved. The examples of women entering policing and the corporate pay gap address both sides of the question. However, the position is not fully clear in the opening phrase “partially right to some extent,” and the discussion of women’s fashion businesses does not clearly explain how it demonstrates social change or equality. Several claims, such as women being better at quick decisions and companies preferring men, are broad and need specific support or qualification. The response is also 9 words below the required minimum. Develop the strongest examples further and state your degree of agreement directly in the introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about expanded opportunities, a paragraph about continuing inequality, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Although,” “While,” and “Moreover” help signal contrast and addition. However, some links are awkward or incomplete: “Although womens are now dominating…” is left as a sentence fragment, and “While there are more opportunities for women but…” combines two contrasting structures. The first body paragraph also moves quickly from policing to education and fashion without clearly connecting each example to the main argument. Use complete topic sentences, organise examples around one central point per paragraph, and make references such as “this whole change” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “gender discrimination,” “senior staff members,” “opportunities,” and “unfair treatment.” These choices make the main concerns understandable. However, the range is uneven, and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “gender war” is not a natural way to describe inequality, “high positons” contains a spelling error, and “salaries … differ by huge number” is unclear. “Dominating” also overstates the point when you mean that women are increasingly represented across fields. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “leadership roles,” “pay disparity,” and “workplace discrimination” would help express your ideas clearly and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses and a conditional sentence: “if a women is hired…” This shows some range, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. “Although womens are now dominating…” is a dependent clause without a main clause, while “While there are more opportunities … but…” uses competing conjunctions. There are also errors in articles and number, as in “a women,” and in the conclusion, where “although … but” is repeated. Work on forming complete sentences, matching subjects and verbs, and using one appropriate contrast structure at a time. These corrections would make the argument easier to follow.

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