Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past half century, the position of women in many societies has improved significantly. Although some people argue gender equality has not been fully achieved by these societies, I believe that many societies have equality for both men and women especially in terms of employment and education. This essay will discuss the position of women in these societies and why I believe that many societies offer same opportunities for both genders.

One major reason why I agree with the gender equality has been achieved in many societies is education. In recent years, women have more access to higher education than in the past. For instance, women can study at any level of education, such as master's or PHD programmes, while in past women were forced to abandon their studies and focus on household activities, such as cleaning and cooking. Moreover, women were expected to take care of children but it has been changed now. Women can freely complete their education in different fields, such as science, arts or engineering.

Another primary reason is equal rights in employment, women can pursue any field and secure a job without any issue. Nowadays, there are a lot of women working as doctors, engineers and business officers. Moreover, governments of several countries have passed different laws regarding equal opportunities and prohibit discrimination in education and employment, for instance, a male employee should get the same pay as a female employee, if their designation is same. Therefore, I disagree with the statement that societies haven't yet achieved gender equality.

In conclusion, although some societies are not providing equal opportunities to women, I believe that many societies have the same rights for both genders regarding education and employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that gender equality remains unachieved in many societies, and you support this with points about education and employment. These are relevant reasons, and examples such as women entering science and engineering help address the question. However, the response only partly develops the issue. It focuses on access to education and jobs, but gives little consideration to other dimensions of equality, such as leadership, unpaid care, or whether equal pay laws are enforced in practice. The claim that societies “have equality” is also broader than the evidence provided. To strengthen the response, qualify your position and explain the limits of progress, then develop each example with more specific evidence or reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. The progression from education to employment is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “Therefore” help connect points. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of more flexible progression. However, several links feel mechanical, and the employment paragraph begins with a comma splice: “Another primary reason is equal rights in employment, women can pursue…” The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than drawing together the argument. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make links show the relationship between ideas, not simply signal another point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “higher education,” “discrimination,” “equal opportunities,” and “gender equality.” These terms make the main ideas clear, and the response attempts some more specific language, such as “master’s or PHD programmes.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are imprecise or repetitive: “business officers” is not a natural description of many business roles, and “same opportunities” and “equal opportunities” recur without much variation. “Have equality” is also less natural than “have achieved equality” or “enjoy equal rights.” Aim for more precise phrasing and vary repeated expressions while keeping the language natural. These inaccuracies do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in the introduction (“Although some people argue…”) and clauses introduced by “while” and “if.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “I agree with the gender equality has been achieved” needs a structure such as “I agree that gender equality has been achieved”; “it has been changed now” has an unclear subject and verb form; and “if their designation is same” is missing an article. The sentence beginning “Another primary reason…” also joins two independent clauses with a comma. Review clause construction, articles, and punctuation, and check that pronouns clearly refer to the intended subject. More accurate control of these patterns would make the argument smoother.

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