Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many cities over the past 50 years. but these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. In my opinion, i partially concur to this statement and my views are examined below.

On the one hand, some societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. In other words, nowadays, still have discrimination in girl and boy. For instance, in past time if a mother gives birth to a girl they does not keep the girl and threw her anywhere nowadays this ratio declined a lot but some families still believe that girls should not be allowed to study they only do household work. As a result, many women still survive as uneducated due to this mentality. Some parents place restriction on girls and do not give her freedom. Women have better access to educate. More women should work as doctor teacher.

On the other hand, some companies do not offer equal pay they pay men higher salaries and lower payment give to females. Nowadays many people does not discriminate they treat both boy and girl equal. For example, nowadays, at petrol pump many women do job there and treat equal. Many families celebrate when a girl birth in there house but in some societies still discriminate. But some people cannot make discrimination and make sure that both girls and boys treated equally.

To infer, although discrimination has increased over past decades but still have some societies cannot claim gender equality due to this i partially agree with this statement because some people cannot claim equality and girls still have not freedom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a relevant, partly agreeing position and discuss barriers such as restrictions on girls’ education and unequal pay. However, the position is not fully clear: the opening says “I partially concur,” while the conclusion says discrimination “has increased,” which conflicts with the examples of improvement and does not clearly answer the claim. Several points are asserted rather than explained, and the petrol-pump example does not show how women are treated equally. The response contains 237 words, below the required 250; the 34 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop fewer examples with clearer explanation, and state consistently whether progress has or has not achieved equality.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, ideas within paragraphs are often joined without a clear logical progression. For example, the first body paragraph moves from infanticide to education, then to women’s employment, without explaining the links. The second paragraph shifts between unequal pay, equal treatment at petrol stations, and celebrations of girls’ births. Repeated use of “nowadays,” “but,” and “some” makes cohesion mechanical, while references such as “this ratio” are unclear. Group related points and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast, or example more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “gender equality,” “discrimination,” “equal pay,” and “restriction.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “discrimination in girl and boy” is unclear, “survive as uneducated” is unnatural, and “make discrimination” does not express the intended idea. “Women have better access to educate” also uses the wrong form. Aim for precise phrases such as “discrimination against girls,” “remain uneducated,” and “access to education.” More varied vocabulary for describing progress and persistent inequality would help you explain your position more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to express contrast and cause, as in “although discrimination has increased over past decades.” However, the range remains limited, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “they does not keep the girl,” “many people does not discriminate,” and “when a girl birth in there house.” The opening also has incorrect capitalisation in “but” and “i.” Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and complete sentence structure before adding more complex ideas.

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