Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, the economic, social and political status of women has changed over the last half century. However, the gender parity has not been achieved yet. I strongly agree with this viewpoint as dicrmination in employment rights and unequal distribution of domestic responsibilities is still a substatntial shallange for modern societies. This essay will outline the factors contributing to this dilemma.

One of the major reason for gender inequality is unfair distribution of employment opportunities and uneven pay scales for females as compared to male. In many modern areas of the world women are still considered as unfit for several kind of jobs such as commissioned offcers in armed forces, top level administraton jobs and for leadership roles. Moreover, women are usually offered with less remunerationa and salary packages in cpmarison with male employees, even having the same level of academic expertise and skills or sometimes maybe higher. Furthermore, women often have less opportunities for professional growth and promotions by many emplloyers.

Apart form the eonomic factors, societal expectation from women inside the home are still a great hinderance in gender parity. Despite becoming financially independent, many females have to manage their household work solely by theirselves and male member of the home is still not accounted for domestic chores. Taking an example of working women who is handling almost everything: from child care to daily household works as well as holding a professional career. This phenomenan is leading twards the biggest stone n the way gender equality.

In conclusion, although the status of women has changed alot in the past fifty years, however, many socities of the world cannot claim it as a development towards gender parity. Therefore, to achieve the equal status of both men and women, the contemporary socities should have to work for both: fair economical opportunities and even distribution of domestic responsibilities for both genders.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that gender equality has not been achieved, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address two relevant reasons—unequal employment opportunities and pay, and the unequal burden of domestic work—and give examples such as women being excluded from leadership roles and working mothers managing childcare alongside careers. This covers the task well. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the employment paragraph lists barriers but does not show their effects or provide a specific example, while the domestic-work example remains general. Develop these points with clearer consequences or a concrete illustration to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around distinct reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from workplace inequality to expectations at home is logical, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This is a sound foundation. At times, however, linking feels mechanical, and some references are unclear or awkward—for example, “This phenomenon” does not precisely identify which aspect of the preceding example is being discussed. The conclusion also repeats the main position without adding much synthesis. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “gender parity,” “remuneration,” “financially independent,” and “domestic responsibilities.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “dicrmination,” “substatntial shallange,” “uneven pay scales for females,” and “biggest stone n the way.” Some expressions also do not fit their context naturally, such as “offered with less remuneration.” Aim for accurate, conventional collocations and proofread spelling carefully. A smaller set of precise phrases will communicate your ideas more effectively than ambitious wording used inaccurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Despite becoming financially independent…” and a comparison in “even having the same level…”. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction recur. For example, “One of the major reason” needs a plural noun, and “societal expectation … are” has a mismatch between subject and verb. The sentence beginning “Taking an example of working women” is also incomplete as written, while “a working women” would require a different article and noun form. Work on checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and make sure examples are complete sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen your varied structures.

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