Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued that societies can barely claim gender equality despite experiencing noticeable women advancement throughout the 50 years. I am strongly agreed with that although women have shifted their position over the years, gender equality is yet to establish.
During the latest half century, a notable enhancement is acknowledged in women's social view. For example, in the past, they were not valued for their opinion, eventually they barely got scope to express themselves. But now, woman can apply for any kind of jobs avilable for their qualification, allowing them to work along with their counterparts simultaneously. As a result, they can earn alone which makes them financially solvent as well.Therefore, these days they possess the right to express their ideas and opinions in different situations.
However, societies having employed women still lacks ensuring gender equality because of several reasons. One major reason is that women have to know their own boundary still today. For example, going outside alone at night seems unsafe for them. So, corporate women tend to finish their duty within afternoon and they even in their free time they try to avoid hangout or shopping after 8 pm, particularly in underdeveloped countries.
In addition, some social taboos still exit in many countries which even hampare women's working places. For instance, it is widely known that women should be quiet and humble in any circumstances, as their high tone is not considered well. Sometimes, they face body shaming both in real life and social media. People randomly tend to judge their personality and dress choice as well without knowing them personally. Eventually, despite improving their position in society, women barely get proper privacy to lead their lives.
In conclusion, I would reiterate that I am completely agreed with that despite undergoing a positive change throughout the years, societies still can not claim to have achieved gender equality.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that women’s status has improved but that gender equality has not been achieved. You address both sides of this contrast, using examples about employment and financial independence before discussing safety, social expectations, and body shaming. These points are relevant, but some are less fully developed than others. For instance, the claim that women must “know their own boundary” is illustrated mainly through restrictions on going out at night; explaining how this reflects unequal freedom or opportunity would make the reasoning clearer. The discussion of workplace barriers is also brief and could use a more specific example. Develop the consequences of each main point to make the argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on progress, two paragraphs on continuing inequality, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from gains in employment to ongoing restrictions is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. At times, however, links between ideas feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. In “So, corporate women tend to finish their duty within afternoon,” the connection between personal safety and workplace routines needs explaining. Also, “they” in the sentence about free time could refer to women generally or corporate women. Use more precise references and connect examples explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss social change and inequality, including “financially solvent,” “social taboos,” “body shaming,” and “privacy.” These choices help you address the topic, and the meaning is generally understandable. You also attempt more formal expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “women advancement,” “social view,” “scope to express themselves,” and “social taboos still exit.” Spelling errors such as “avilable,” “hamper,” and “exit” also reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations and check word forms and spelling: for example, “women’s advancement,” “social attitudes,” and “taboos still exist.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish legal rights, social expectations, and practical barriers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “although,” “because,” and “as.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. For example, “I am strongly agreed” should be “I strongly agree,” while “societies having employed women still lacks” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “they even in their free time they try,” the sentence structure is duplicated, and “within afternoon” needs an article. The conclusion repeats “I am completely agreed,” showing that the verb pattern has not been corrected. Review agreement, articles, and verb forms, then proofread longer sentences for duplicated subjects and clauses.
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