Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the average number of hours that women in various age groups and women with varying levels of education spend on primary activities each week.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average hours per week women spent in selected primary activities, by age and educational attainment, 2009
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE BAR CHAT COMPARES DATA REGARDING THE PROPORTION OF WOMEN WORKING ON AVERAGE HOURS PER WEEK WITH RESPECT TO AGE AND EDUCATION .
AS AN OVERVIEW, IN 2009, A HIGH NUMBER OF FEMALES ARE ENGAGHED WITH SOME OR THE OTHER ACTIVITES BUT LEISURE AND SPORTS WINS THE RATIO IN EVERY AGE WITH COMPARISON TO WORKING AND HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITES .
FIRSTLY ,IN THE AGE OF 75 AND OVER THE PERCENTAGE OF WORKING WOMEN IS THE LEAST WHICH IS 1.3 . ON THE OTHER HAND THE SAME AGE GROUP IS ON THE FIRST POSITION FOR LEISURE AND SPORTS WHICH TAKE OVER THE VALUER OFF 57.7 .
CONVERSELY, WOMEN ARE SEEN LESS INTO HOUSEHOLDS FOLLOWED BY WORKING AND RELATED ACTIVITES AND THE MOST IN LEISURE AND SPORTS .
HOWEVER , ENGAGED IN HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITES ARE MORE SEEN IN EDUCATED WOMEN THAN THE UNEDUCATED ONES. WORKING IS OBSERVED AS ALMOST EQUAVALENT TO SPORTS FROM THE AGE 20 TO 54 AND AFTER THIS AGE FEMALES ARE SEEN MORE INTERESTED IN SPORTS .
TO SUMMARISE, THE MEAN WORKING RATIO OF WOMENS PER WEEK FOR WORKING AND HOUSEHOLDS ARE ALMOST THE SAME BUT THEY SHOW MORE INTEREST IN LEISURE AND SPORTS
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response identifies the main features of the chart, such as the dominance of leisure activities and the age-related trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the reference to 'some or the other activities' is vague, and the comparison between educational levels is underdeveloped. While the main trends are captured, the data points are occasionally misstated or lack clarity (e.g., 'take over the valuer off 57.7'). To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific comparisons between the categories and ensure that the data cited directly reflects the chart's information without ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the use of 'conversely' to introduce a point that does not strictly contrast with the previous one. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved to create a more logical progression of ideas. The transition between the age groups and the educational attainment sections is abrupt, making the overall structure feel slightly disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'CHAT' instead of 'CHART', 'ENGAGHED', 'EQUAVALENT') and awkward collocations (e.g., 'wins the ratio'). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic terms like 'high number' or 'seen'. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'predominant', 'fluctuation', or 'proportion', and ensure that spelling is accurate throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'females are seen more interested'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'the mean working ratio of womens'), and punctuation errors, such as the excessive use of spaces and inconsistent capitalisation. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from achieving a higher score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips would be beneficial.
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