Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the average number of hours that women in various age groups and women with varying levels of education spend on primary activities each week.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average hours per week women spent in selected primary activities, by age and educational attainment, 2009
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart shows the average number of hours that women in various age groups and women with varying levels of education spend on primary activities each week. This bar charts highly educated age is 75 and over.
Firstly, this bar graph gradually increasing up to 75 and over than decreasing 15 to 19 years women. Bachelor degree and higher level women is equal range like 15.2, 28.6 and 27.4 like wise some college or associate degree to highly rate of pleasure and sports on the women. The bar chart shows high rate of women are pleasure and sports.
Secondly, the bar chart shows the women are working and work related activities second rate of the bar chart the range of up to 53.7. so, the bar chart minimum the household activities women are gradually decrease in the 2009.
In conclusion, many women are gradually increasing the independent. Minimum age of women and uneducated women are household activities but leisure and sports and working women is high rate.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data provided in the bar chart. While you attempt to describe the trends, the information is often confusing or factually incorrect based on the visual data. For example, stating 'this bar charts highly educated age is 75 and over' is unclear and does not address the primary activities. You mention specific figures like '15.2' and '53.7', but these are not clearly linked to the categories (age or education) or the activities (leisure, work, household). To improve, you must clearly identify the main trends and support them with accurate data points from the chart, ensuring the reader can understand the comparison between groups.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' is mechanical and does not effectively connect the ideas. The sentences within the paragraphs often lack a clear relationship to one another, making the overall argument difficult to follow. For instance, the transition from discussing age groups to educational attainment is abrupt and confusing. To achieve a higher score, focus on grouping related information together and using cohesive devices more naturally to guide the reader through your analysis of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'high rate', 'increase', and 'decrease', which are used in ways that do not always convey the intended meaning. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'highly educated age' and 'minimum the household activities', which are not standard English. To improve, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to describing data, such as 'proportion', 'significant', 'fluctuate', and 'educational background'. Expanding your range of descriptive language will help you communicate your observations more clearly and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this bar charts'), sentence structure (e.g., 'Bachelor degree and higher level women is equal range'), and missing prepositions or articles. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear subject and verb, making them difficult to parse. While you attempt to use some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors in tense and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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