Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the average number of hours that women in various age groups and women with varying levels of education spend on primary activities each week.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Average hours per week women spent in selected primary activities, by age and educational attainment, 2009

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar illustrated an Number of womens in various age groups varying levels of spend how much hours spends in the activities an each week.

In 2009 womens are focusing on primary activities related leisure & sports, Household activities only between age 15 yrs to 75 and over. An main activities take 10 to 20 hours per week for womens who spending there time in household working and Leisure and sports. Some womens are managed there working and work related activities as well. If womens are educated they can manage careers as well and 27.4 hours womens managining there working & work related activities.

As summaries that women have spend there highly hours on Leisure & sports so per week they spend 51.7 hours on this activity. And about household activities women spend 21.1 hours on this activities per week as we summaries womens are spend there more hours on Leisure & sports in 75 & over age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by mentioning some figures from the bar chart, such as the highest leisure hours of 51.7 for those aged 75 and over, and working hours of 27.4. However, the overall coverage of the data is very limited and partial. The introduction contains heavily garbled phrasing that fails to accurately state what the chart shows, and there is no clear, cohesive overview provided. Important trends across the different age groups and educational attainment categories are largely missed or poorly presented, reflecting a minimal and disjointed approach to the visual data. To reach a higher level, the response needs to select and contrast the main features more systematically and provide a clear, comprehensive summary of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of information lacks a clear progression and overall logical structure. The text is divided into three short paragraphs, but ideas are grouped haphazardly without a coherent flow. Cohesive devices are used minimally or inappropriately, such as abrupt transitions ('If womens are educated', 'As summaries that women'), making it difficult for the reader to follow the relationships between ideas. Additionally, referencing is unclear in places, and paragraphing fails to structure the comparison logically. Improving coherence requires grouping related data together—such as contrasting age groups against education levels—and using accurate, varied cohesive links to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The response contains frequent lexical errors, including incorrect word forms ('womens', 'spend' versus 'spends', 'education' confusion), and awkward phrasing like 'spending there time in household working' and 'highly hours'. These errors stem from basic word-formation slips and inappropriate word choice, which occasionally strain the reader's understanding. There is very little attempt to use less common vocabulary or paraphrasing effectively. To improve, the student needs to expand their range of functional academic vocabulary, practice correct noun-plural forms, and learn standard collocations for describing statistical charts, such as 'spend the highest number of hours' instead of 'spend there highly hours'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical structure is extremely limited, relying on very basic sentence patterns with frequent foundational errors. There are persistent mistakes in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement ('womens are focusing', 'womens are managed'), article usage ('the bar illustrated an Number'), and prepositions ('spend on the activities an each week'). Attempts at complex structures are faulty, resulting in fragmented or run-on sentences that lack proper control. Punctuation is also inconsistently handled. To achieve a higher band, the student must demonstrate a wider mix of error-free simple and complex sentences, eliminate basic agreement errors, and ensure that verbs and auxiliary structures are used accurately throughout the response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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