Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the average number of hours that women in various age groups and women with varying levels of education spend on primary activities each week.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average hours per week women spent in selected primary activities, by age and educational attainment, 2009
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The data demonstrates the average amount of hours taht women in several communities and women with changing levels of education spend on primary activities on each week. Overall, the significant number of hours are spend by the leisure and the sport category women, whose age is from 75 to above. In contrast, the negligible time spend in work related activities by the ladies, age around 75 and above. For the ladies who are interested in sports, figure from age 15 to 19 shows a steady fluctuation, whereas at the age of 75 and above there is a substantial increase up to 51.7%. Subsequently, the graph shows gradual decline for the education attainment ladies. The women who are involved in household activities figure illustrates steady increment, to less than a high school diploma ladies. The figure for work related activities is around 27% at the age of 25 to 34. This category procure extremely less rating, but not in education attainment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response makes an attempt to address the visual data, but it only partially covers the prompt. While it references some specific figures, such as 51.7% for leisure activities among those aged 75 and over, and mentions working hours for the 25 to 34 age group, the selection of main features is disjointed and lacks a clear overview of the chart's general trends. Furthermore, some data points are misinterpreted or inaccurately described, such as claiming that the figure for sports among 15 to 19 year olds shows a 'steady fluctuation' when it is actually a single data point, or confusing educational attainment categories with age groups. The lack of a cohesive summary of the primary activities across both age and education leaves the response partially developed and difficult to follow as an overview of the information.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The information and ideas are not arranged coherently, presenting a fragmented structure that lacks a clear overall progression. Although the writer attempts to link sentences using basic cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', and 'Subsequently', the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs is frequently broken. Paragraphing is poorly handled, as the entire response is clustered into a single block without a logical separation of ideas. Additionally, referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about which specific demographic or category a sentence is describing, particularly when transitioning between age groups and educational attainment levels.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, reflecting a basic range that struggles to adequately and precisely discuss statistical data. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation throughout the text, such as 'taht' (spelling), 'communities' instead of age groups, 'changing levels' instead of varying levels, 'negligible time spend', and 'education attainment ladies'. The term 'procure extremely less rating' is awkward and inappropriate for describing chart statistics. These vocabulary errors and the repetitive phrasing cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher level of precision and style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent errors when attempting more complex formations. There are frequent grammatical mistakes regarding verb forms, tense usage, and article omission, such as 'are spend' instead of 'are spent', 'time spend' instead of 'time spent', and 'the significant number of hours are spend by'. Prepositional errors and subject-verb agreement issues are also present, such as 'figure from age 15 to 19 shows' and 'the women who are involved in household activities figure illustrates'. Punctuation is basic, and these frequent errors often cause strain and difficulty for the reader in interpreting the intended meaning.
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