Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over the recent years, obesity has become one of the hotly debated issue in society. This matter is particularly significant due to its impact on health, including both individuals and communities. Food advertising is highly blame to this problem. While, others believed that, advertising does not lead to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. In my opinion, junk food advertising should lead to eat junk food, specially among the children, I think this should be controlled.

In the beginning, people belived that advertisement should lead to obesity that is the main problem among this generation. Branded restaurants and fast food shop do excellent advertisement and use attractive pictures and famous personality to promote their products. Many people, specially students saw these advertisement on social media and these advertisement attract many people towards themself. For instance, children force their parents to buy junk food for them, like burger, pizza, pasta etc. That’s why many parents asked these type of advertisement should be banned.

While on the other hand, people argue that advertising is not the main cause of obesity. They belived that personal choise and lifestyles play important role to this. For example people who don’t do exercise regularly and not pay attention to their health and always prefer to sit free lead to this. Some people belived that fast food is important because it is easy, convenient to order if you are busy and not feel to cook.

In my opinion, boht advertisement and personal lifestyle may lead to obesity that’s people should not ate on regular basis, while, they should eat once or twice in a month just to change their eating routine and joy.

In conclusion, advertising is not only cause to this problem, personal choise is equally important. Stop advertising is most important step to reduce the obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you explain how advertising can attract children to fast food, then present lifestyle and convenience as reasons obesity may occur. The examples about children asking parents for burgers or pizza are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The second view is asserted rather than explored, and the claim that people should eat junk food “once or twice in a month” does not clearly explain how advertising should be regulated. Your position also shifts: you say advertising should be controlled, but conclude that stopping it is the most important step while also stressing personal choice. Make your stance consistent and explain more fully why a ban is or is not justified.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking is repetitive or awkward. For example, “While on the other hand” combines two contrasting signals, while “That’s why” introduces a conclusion without fully establishing the link. The opinion paragraph also repeats earlier points rather than bringing them together into a clear judgement. Use simpler, more precise transitions and make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical sequence, with clear references to the arguments already discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “personal choice,” “lifestyles,” and “convenient,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “Food advertising is highly blame to this problem,” “attract many people towards themself,” and “sit free.” Spelling errors such as “belived,” “choise,” and “boht” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing causes and influence, and check word forms and spelling. For instance, use “is largely to blame,” “draw consumers to these products,” and “lead a sedentary lifestyle.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “people who don’t do exercise regularly” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “obesity has become one of the hotly debated issue,” “Many people … saw these advertisement,” and “people should not ate on regular basis.” These show problems with agreement, plurals, verb forms, and articles. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in the long opening and final opinion sentences. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct tense and agreement, and appropriate articles before adding more complex structures.

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