Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue of obesity become relevant in contemporary society. Some people believe that junk food is the main cause of that fatal disease. Due to the fact that advertisments should be banned, while others maintain that advertising does not contributes to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. As far as I am concerned, the goverment should ban the junk foods. This essay will disscuss both perspectives and provide a logical conclusion.

To begin with there are compelling reasons why many individuals wants advertising of junk food should be banned. The most notable benefit is that by ristricting the advertisements people cannot get the information about the junk food. In this way use of the junk food can be reduced. For instance, in USA , the advertisments of the junk food is banned, and due to this reason the ratio of obesity is low as compared to the other countries. Moreover, by ceasing the advertisements of junk food the young generatios can be saved from fatal obesity. Therefore, this side argues that government should ban advertising of junk food.

On the other hand,there are legitimate concerns associated with this advertising of junk food. According to this side, parents should take care about their childrens health. They should explain the drawbacks of the junk food to their children. In this way the use of junk food can be minimised. For example, In Pakistan most of the young ones are unable to eat the junk food because their parents did not allow them to eat. Furthermore, explaining the drawbacks and

advantages of these types of food to their freinds, the risk of obesity can be reduced.

From my perspective, the junk food should be banned. In this way obesity can be terminated from the society, and people should be encouraged to eat the vegetables.

In conclusion, while the debate presents valid arguments on both sides. It appears as by eliminating the advertisements of junk food a health could be improved. Thus a balanced approach involving individuals responsiblity and effective governance is essential to maximize benefits while minimizing drawbacks for present and future generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both positions and state your own view: you support banning advertising, while the opposing paragraph focuses on parents educating and limiting their children. This gives the response a relevant overall direction. However, the task is only partly addressed because the case against a ban is not explained directly: parental responsibility is presented as an alternative, but you do not clearly show why advertising itself does not contribute to obesity. Several claims also need development or qualification. For example, the assertion that junk-food advertising is banned in the USA and obesity is consequently lower is unsupported and overly broad. Explain the mechanisms on both sides and use more credible, specific support to make your position convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and links between claims are not always clear. For instance, the example about parents in Pakistan does not establish that advertising has no effect; the connection to the opposing view needs to be made explicit. The final paragraph introduces a “balanced approach” after you have argued for a ban, leaving your conclusion less consistent. Develop each paragraph around one clear claim, explain its relevance, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-appropriate vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertisements,” “drawbacks,” and “individuals’ responsibility,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, such as “advertisments,” “ristricting,” “generatios,” and “freinds.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “fatal disease” overstates the point, while “the ratio of obesity” is not the usual collocation. Repetition of “junk food” and “advertising” further limits flexibility. Build a more accurate range of collocations for discussing public health and policy, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your arguments clearer and more credible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at complex structures, including “while others maintain that…” and “According to this side…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to read. Examples include “The issue of obesity become,” “advertising does not contributes,” and “many individuals wants.” The opening also contains an incomplete or confusing construction: “Due to the fact that advertisments should be banned, while others maintain…”. Practise matching subjects and verbs, using infinitives and clauses correctly, and forming complete sentences. Proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries will also help your ideas come through more smoothly.

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