Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

it is an undeniable fact that obesity is a major problem faced by the world in 21st century. Its is often argued by some people junk food is the main cause of this problem and the other school of thought believe that junk food is not contribute in the obesity concern. This essay will explore both sides of argument before discussing a logical opinion.

On the one hand, the supporters of the idea that junk food is harmful as the believe it is a cause of obesity. They thought junk food prepared by dirty oil and its is a unhygienic food and it effect on body.For example, In the resturants people make this food several time even they did not clean tha oil and fried chicken so many time even the oil colour turns into black. Thus, this factor clearly expresses the one side of the argument.

While on the other hand, the advocates of the view that this junk food is not cause of obesity as they argue this food is best for health and it is not harmful for health. They said junk food is also natural food it prepared from fresh oil. Obesity is coming from if you don't exercise daily. For Intense, chicken is natural food for everyone and people enjoy while eating and its also gives vitamans to body to being health. Hence, this factor clearly elaborate the other side of the argument.

To sum up, although people have different opinions regarding the above given statments but i favoured first view as these junk food is causing more issues for us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce the topic and include a final preference for the view that junk food contributes to obesity, so the reader can identify your general position. You also attempt to discuss both sides. However, the response only partially addresses the actual debate: the first view is explained mainly through unhygienic cooking oil, rather than advertising’s influence on eating habits, while the opposing view is presented as claiming junk food is healthy. The claim that obesity comes from not exercising is relevant, but it is not developed with evidence or a clear explanation of why advertising should not be banned. To strengthen the response, explain how advertising may encourage consumption, then consider why personal choice, diet, or exercise might matter more, and support your own conclusion with specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “While on the other hand,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the intended stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often weak: examples about repeatedly used oil and chicken do not clearly connect to advertising or to the central question. Several linking phrases are repetitive or mechanical, particularly “Thus, this factor clearly expresses…” and “Hence, this factor clearly elaborate…”. The conclusion also repeats the existence of different opinions without summarising the main reasons. Use clearer links between each claim and its supporting explanation, and make paragraph endings advance the argument rather than repeat a formula.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “advocates,” and “hygienic,” and you attempt phrases such as “school of thought.” This gives you enough basic language to communicate the broad subject. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the intended meaning unclear. For example, “junk food is not contribute in the obesity concern” and “this food is best for health” do not express the arguments naturally; “vitamans” and “resturants” also show spelling problems. Aim for precise language about advertising and health, such as “promote high-calorie products” or “contribute to weight gain,” and check spelling and word forms. Avoid repeating “this factor clearly…” when a specific explanation would be more informative.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including “although people have different opinions…” and clauses beginning with “as” and “before.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “Its is often argued by some people junk food is the main cause,” “the other school of thought believe,” and “Obesity is coming from if you don't exercise daily.” There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, as in “it is a unhygienic food” and “it effect on body.For example”. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check punctuation and agreement when editing.

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