Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Obesity is one major health factor affecting individuals nowadays. Most people use most of thei time on junk food especially those in urban areas.

Advertisement of junk food encourages people to try them because they are appealing.Most children especially in urban areas buy them because they are found everywhere in cities or towns.In most,it largely affects those people working for long hours because they don't have much time for cooking at their homes.Therefore,they buy them at their convient time. It also encourages the elderly to buy them since they not have someone to help the cook because of its accessibility. Additionally, everyday consumption of this food leads to health hazards specifically Obesity .

As far as junky foods are readily available and accessible hence time consuming as you don't use alot of time in the kitchen.

Banning of the advertisements,is a crucial action and must be taken seriously because of the following reasons.

Firstly, it improves the market of our local agricultural produce as many people will purchase them resulting to high market value and also reduces the produce from going bad more often.

Secondly,it reduces the incidence lifestyle diseases especially obesity and other diseases such as cancer.This will strongly encourage people to adopt a healthy lifestyle by consuming health ones.

Although many people prefer junk food i strongly disagree with advertisement of junk good and should be banned.Goverment policies and laws should be mitigated to reduce this major detrimental monster called obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear position in favour of banning junk-food advertising and give relevant reasons, including its appeal to children and the possible benefits for local agricultural produce. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing view—that advertising does not significantly cause obesity and should not be banned—is not meaningfully explained. Your points about convenience and long working hours describe why people buy fast food, but do not develop the argument that advertising is not responsible. Several claims, such as links to cancer and improved markets, are asserted without examples or explanation. The response is also 7 words below the required minimum. Address both sides directly and support each main point with a specific example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some paragraphing, and the sequence from advertising’s influence to reasons for a ban and then your opinion is broadly understandable. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Although” help signal parts of the argument. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the sentence beginning “As far as junky foods are readily available” repeats the convenience point and does not connect clearly to the preceding discussion. The opposing view is also not given its own organised treatment. Some transitions are awkward or incomplete, and punctuation spacing makes the flow harder to follow. Use a clear paragraph for each side, followed by a conclusion, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “advertisement,” “accessible,” “health hazards,” “agricultural produce,” and “healthy lifestyle,” so the reader can generally identify your subject and main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning less clear. Examples include “one major health factor,” “junky foods,” “market value” in this context, and “healthy ones.” There are also spelling errors such as “convient,” “Goverment,” and “alot.” Aim for more precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, distinguish between obesity as a health problem and a “risk factor,” and use consistent terms such as “junk food” rather than switching to “junky foods.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because they are appealing” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” Nevertheless, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “they not have someone to help the cook” is missing an auxiliary and has an unclear verb pattern; “As far as junky foods are readily available and accessible hence time consuming” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. There are also problems with agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “everyday consumption … leads … specifically Obesity.” Practise building complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and using punctuation to separate sentences.

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