Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Bulkiness is considered as a major problem around many societies. People think that this is mostly because of junk food advertising and it should be banned as it encourages people to consume more. On the other hand, many believe that it has nothing to do with the advertising. This is because fast food is addictive on its own and advertising should not be banned.

Nowadays, junk food had gained popularity because of its availability and cheap prices. The big fast food chains around the world tend to put focus on this points in their commercials. This encourages people to consume junk foods more often. As a result, obesity is increasing day by day. Studies found that more than half a population in America is now suffering from obesity. And so some people are now blaming advertisements of those junk foods.

However, many believe that this is not the case. Junk foods usually contains sugar, refined oil, MSG, and salt. All of them spikes sugar rush in human body and gives a dopamine rush. Scientific research shows that sugar and dopamine have a corelation together and it makes a person addicted. So people who are getting bulk are already addicted to the fast food. They don't care if the advertisement is being shown or not. That is why many think that advertising does not contribute to the obesity problem at all.

To conclude, I also believe that advertising of junk foods is not what is contributing to the obesity problem. People are getting obese because of their addiction and thus banning advertisement is not the solution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both views and state your own position clearly: you explain that advertising may encourage consumption, then argue that addiction is the more important cause and that a ban would not solve obesity. The examples about low prices and availability help explain the first view, while the reference to sugar and dopamine supports the opposing view. However, some points are asserted rather than fully developed. For example, the claim that people who gain weight are already addicted does not establish that advertising has no influence on their choices, and the statistic about America is not explained or sourced. Develop the comparison more carefully and acknowledge that advertising could still affect some consumers, even if it is not the sole cause.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates your opinion. Transitions such as “On the other hand,” “However,” and “To conclude” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This coherent organisation meets the lower-band expectations, and there is some effective progression within the body paragraphs. To make the flow more flexible and precise, avoid relying mainly on explicit transition phrases and strengthen links between claims and explanations. For instance, the move from the list of ingredients to the claim that people are addicted could be made more explicit. Also clarify references such as “this” in “this points” so readers can immediately identify the idea being referred to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “availability,” “commercials,” “refined oil,” “dopamine,” and “contribute to the obesity problem.” These choices allow you to communicate the main argument, but the range and control are uneven, with several noticeable word-choice, form, and spelling problems. “Bulkiness” is not an appropriate substitute for obesity, and “getting bulk” is unclear in this context. “Corelation” is misspelled, while “sugar rush” and “addictive on its own” are imprecise for the scientific claims you are making. Aim for more accurate topic-specific collocations and check spelling and word forms; this will make your reasoning sound clearer and more credible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures such as “This encourages people to consume junk foods more often. As a result, obesity is increasing day by day.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “junk foods usually contains” should use a plural verb, and “had gained popularity” does not fit the present-time context as well as a present perfect form. “The big fast food chains … tend to put focus on this points” also contains agreement and determiner errors. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and proofread each sentence for tense consistency. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the varied structures you are already attempting.

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