Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Day by day the increasing number people suffer from the obesity in every singel country. Some argued that excessive use of advertisement leads people to consume process foods and should be banned by the authorities, while others believe that advertisement is not contributiong factor to increase obesity. Now I am going discuss both views and show you why I support first view.

On the one hand, advertisement is the key of success for restaurant business. In foods business owners always upload content in social media and also give huge discount on food items, which gives them several advantages. After uploading it the consumer lose their awareness about their health and they enjoy this processed foods. Although, this trend drives owners to get a early success, it leads consumer to serious health problems like obesity. Therefore, government should be banned those restaurtant which provides a number of advertising.

On the other hand, many people conestantly believe that increasing number of marketing in food industries lead people to detrimental health issue like obesity. The main reason is in this modern era everyone is connected through social media, where this advertising company target their potential customers by providing intersting offer. After seeing this on online they cannot controll them from buying. For instance, in my country every well-known company give special offers for students, couples and for older people. Speacially, they just want to show that they do care for everyone and people start to give them a place in their heart,which leads them to overeating in those specific restaurant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a clear opinion in the introduction, saying you support the view that advertising should be restricted, and you include points about social-media promotions and health risks. However, the discussion is only partial: the paragraph beginning “On the other hand” largely repeats the claim that advertising encourages unhealthy eating rather than explaining why some people believe advertising does not contribute to obesity or should not be banned. Your position is also not developed further in a conclusion, and the examples remain general, such as companies offering discounts to different groups. To strengthen the response, explain both sides distinctly, give a specific reason or example for the opposing view, and develop your own position with a clear concluding judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction and two body paragraphs, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to organise the discussion. However, the second body paragraph does not fulfil the contrast promised by its opening; it repeats the argument that advertising contributes to obesity, so the overall progression is unclear. Some links between ideas are also difficult to follow, particularly “After uploading it the consumer lose their awareness” and the move from special offers to people overeating. The response ends without a concluding paragraph, leaving the argument unfinished. Give each body paragraph a distinct purpose, use linking phrases to show cause and contrast accurately, and finish by summarising your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “processed foods,” “potential customers,” “health problems,” and “special offers,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning less clear. Examples include “advertisement is the key of success,” “increasing number of marketing,” and “give them a place in their heart.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “singel,” “conestantly,” and “Speacially.” Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing advertising and obesity, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, use “advertising is key to business success” and “marketing campaigns” rather than the less natural phrases in the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a subordinate clause beginning “Although” and a relative clause in “those restaurtant which provides…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction can make the reader work to understand the point. Examples include “the increasing number people suffer,” “the consumer lose,” “government should be banned,” and “they cannot controll them from buying.” Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the comma splice in “their heart,which leads.” Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and clauses before adding complexity: for instance, “The government should ban restaurants that advertise heavily” and “Consumers may find it difficult to resist buying these foods.”

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