Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, people are facing many problems due to obesity moreover many people believes that it is due to the adds which permotes junk food and i also agree with it.

First of all, it is worth considering that why obesity is the matter of concern due to fact that obesity brings many problems such as diabetes and many more it is because when a man is full of fat he or she is not capable to do the things easily and whivh creates many problem of skin and all and main reason of obesity is junk food for example we bring or eat something when we know about that thing subsequently adds full fill the gap between customer and product by giving a brief about it according to me if a foody person or any one see the advertisement so it creates a crucity to try it when we try it if we like it we consume it daily and notice one thing in the add they always shows the positive side of that product.

Although, it is undeniable that advertisement is not only the reason there are many more like shopkeeper bringing new product such soya momos panner momos basically variety so the consumers makes the personal preference in this however still if government banned the adds like this there must be changes in the Market people will be having less crucity to eat it

In conclusion, advertisement plays a crucial role in consumption of jubk food which ultimately the reason of obesity subsequently government should banned this type of advertisement to precure the things

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear opinion that junk-food advertising should be banned, and you offer relevant points about health risks and how advertisements can encourage people to try products. You also acknowledge the opposing view by noting that advertising is not the only cause of obesity and mentioning the availability of new food varieties. However, the discussion of that view is brief, and the essay does not explain why some people believe advertising has little effect or should remain permitted. Several claims, such as advertising being the “main reason” for obesity, are asserted rather than supported with a specific example or evidence. Develop both sides more evenly and explain how your examples support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “First of all,” a contrasting paragraph beginning “Although,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the broad stages of your argument. However, progression within the body paragraphs is difficult to follow because several different points are joined into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the first body paragraph moves from health effects to advertising, consumer curiosity, and product claims without clear separation. Linking expressions such as “moreover,” “subsequently,” and “however” are sometimes used awkwardly or repeatedly. Organise each paragraph around one main idea, then use shorter sentences and clearer references to show how each supporting point connects.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “diabetes,” “advertisement,” “consumers,” and “government,” so the general subject is clear. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “personal preference” and “positive side.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make parts of the argument difficult to understand, including “crucity,” “jubk food,” “precure,” and “adds.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “full of fat” and “fill the gap between customer and product.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and use precise terms such as “craving,” “promote,” and “influence purchasing decisions” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if we like it we consume it daily,” and you use clauses to explain causes and effects. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “many people believes,” “why obesity is the matter of concern,” and “government should banned.” The first body paragraph also runs several clauses together without clear punctuation, making the relationships between ideas hard to follow. Practise forming accurate subject–verb combinations and past or modal verb patterns, and divide long sentences into shorter units with clear punctuation.

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