Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Although there are so many health related problems are in top, obesity count as one of the main health problem. There are those who believe that junk food advertisement sholud be banned, however, another group of people who believe that its should not. I strongly believe that the the advertisement of junk food should be banned.

Genarally speaking, there are a wide range of reasons in the favour of why advertising of unhealthy food should stopped. Perhaps there are the main reasons behide this is advertising attract young from our society. A good illustration of why stop advertising is because of appealing ad in Tv or in road side create craving when someone see it, with out hunger people want to test the food item and as a result it create obesity. Secondly, the young people easly attracted by advertisment. For example, Young are alwayes want to go with trends as a result they join unhealthey way of life.

On the other hand, despite of those arguments some people think that the advertisment of junk food not contribute in obesity. They have there reasons for it, they thnik that if junk food banned, many people will lose there jobs. The main reason they think that unemployment create because a huge number of people involve in advertising and food reasuarants by stoppeing the advertisment can create a job lost by many. I believe that we should stop advertisiment of junk food for improvement of our younger generation.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statemant that junk food consumption will be remove from our society, than we can live a healthly life. If we cannot remove unhealthey things, we will not live a healthey life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear opinion that junk-food advertising should be banned, and you address both sides of the discussion. Your points about advertisements creating cravings and young people following trends are relevant, with a brief example of seeing adverts on television or roadside displays. However, the opposing view is presented mainly as a concern about job losses, rather than explaining why advertising itself may not contribute to obesity. The link between advertising, eating habits and obesity also needs fuller explanation, and the conclusion shifts from banning advertising to removing junk-food consumption altogether. Develop each side with a clearer chain of reasoning and keep your final position consistent with the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting a ban, a paragraph presenting the opposing view, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. You also use signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links are repetitive or awkward, including “as a result” used for different relationships. The sentence beginning “They have there reasons for it” does not clearly connect the job-loss point to the claim that advertising does not cause obesity. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it with clear references and more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “craving,” “unemployment” and “younger generation,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “attract young” is unclear, “test the food item” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “food reasuarants” is difficult to identify. Spelling errors such as “sholud,” “easly” and “unhealthey” are also noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing advertising and health, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Although” and a conditional sentence beginning “If we cannot remove…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction can make the reader pause. For example, “there are so many health related problems are in top” combines incompatible structures, while “obesity count as one of the main health problem” has agreement and plural errors. In “the advertisement … should be banned,” the article and number also need attention. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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