Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays,junk food is the main problem of diseases such as obesity,diabetes,e.t.c.People should be overcome their cravings of fast food.In the past year, there are some cases of diabetes that are caused by having poison food.Nobody knows how fast food make.In some issues,many factories was caught by police because they made the food with their dirty hands.And they did not use their gloves.

I agree that fast food should be banned because it is unhealthy meal and everyperson should be avoid this meal. Otherwise,there are 99 percent chance that he cannot survive.Advertisment is the biggest cause because it attracts people.So, people watch TV ads and attract at unnecessary food.We should make this food at home in hygenic environment.And people should try to stop their children.

In our society,it is very common whenever some family function are occur then every family order some food from online such as:pizza,shawarma,nuggets,e.t.c.So, these things are the reason that cause heart problems.Even hypercalcemia is very common in pakistan.Everyperson is suffering from all infections.Because we eat this food as it is our traditional food.Having such meal not only damage your health but also deacrese your life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You give a clear view that junk food advertising should be banned, and you connect advertising with people being attracted to unhealthy food. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing argument—that advertising does not cause obesity and should remain legal—is not explained. Much of the response instead shifts to food hygiene, online ordering, and health effects, including the unsupported claim that there is a “99 percent chance” a person cannot survive. These points do not adequately develop the debate in the prompt. The response is also below the required 250 words, which limits the space available to explain and support relevant ideas. To improve, present both positions, state your own view clearly, and support each with a relevant example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, and some ideas are linked with words such as “because,” “So,” and “Otherwise.” The reader can follow the general view that junk food is harmful and that advertising may encourage consumption. However, progression is uneven: the opening moves from obesity to diabetes and food hygiene, while the later paragraphs introduce family functions, online orders, and infections without clearly connecting these points to the two views in the question. Several sentences are joined mechanically, and “Because we eat this food…” is left as a fragment. Organise the essay around the opposing arguments and your opinion, using each paragraph for one main point and clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “cravings,” and “heart problems,” so the subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or unclear, such as “poison food,” “unnecessary food,” and “hygenic environment.” Repetition of “food,” “people,” and “problem” also makes the argument less precise. Some expressions, including “hypercalcemia is very common in pakistan” and “all infections,” are not clearly connected to the point being made. Aim for accurate, relevant terms such as “processed food,” “advertising campaigns,” and “health risks,” and choose examples that directly support your argument. Check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, for example, “I agree that fast food should be banned because it is unhealthy meal,” and “Having such meal not only damage your health but also deacrese your life.” However, most sentences use simple patterns, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make parts difficult to read. Examples include “People should be overcome,” “many factories was caught,” and “every family order.” The sentence beginning “Because we eat this food…” is incomplete, while punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas with subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure.

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