Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In most of societies, excessive fat is considered as a main concern. While most of the public advocate that advertisement of fast food is the significant reason for this issue and it must be sealed. On the other side, the perspective is opposite. By keeping in mind, I firmly believe that modern dishes are not main source of overweight and must not be closed.

To begin with, some of public think having oily and baked cuisines due to highly advertisement is the main core of above the average weight and tremendous quantity of health concerns, This is because, new dishes availability in each corner of the markets which overly emphasis on their publicity with corporate food chain tags. For instance, the 2025 report depicted the ratio of high diabetes, cholesterol and stomach issues, due to over eat of Pizza and Zinger burger. Furthermore, If individuals spent most of their money on these foods then it can cause detrimental affect on public health and can exacerbate illness. Therefore, it is the significant reason to put on the closure of these food outlets.

On the other hand side, remaining society members focus over that western dishes do not facilitate to the normal body kilograms and these must be running, The noticeable fact is that, it depends on the people' preferences, this is because if a person balances his or her diet and take proper proportion with adequate quantity of Pizza slices and others than it will result in a healthy diet instead of extra fat. In addition to this, a person can eat on particular events in order to keep healthy body which is predominant in celebrities such as Disha Patani, an Indian actress who told on 12 March, 2026 interview, she has cheat meals on Sunday. Due to this, i agree with proper utilisation of fast food is imperative.

To sum up, Although overly rely on oil mad products has been increasing since technological advancement, which could cause obesity and physical issues, by keeping check and balance on everyday meal can help us to stay fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the first body paragraph attempts to link advertising to health issues, the reasoning is slightly repetitive and relies on vague generalizations. The second body paragraph introduces the counter-argument but relies heavily on a specific, anecdotal example (an actress's diet) rather than broader societal or economic arguments. To reach a higher band, you should focus on developing more analytical arguments rather than relying on personal or celebrity-based anecdotes. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the other hand side' and 'By keeping in mind' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences can feel abrupt. While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional misuse of cohesive devices prevent the essay from achieving a higher score. Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition signals will significantly enhance the readability of your work.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'must be sealed' (instead of 'banned'), 'main core of above the average weight', and 'oil mad products'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'detrimental affect' (note: should be 'effect') and 'exacerbate', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic terminology rather than literal translations or informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some of public think'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('remaining society members focus over that'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures prevents the text from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like articles, pluralization, and verb forms to ensure your complex sentences are accurate.

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