Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Around the world, obesity has become a major problem. This issue has been widely debated in recent years. Some people believe that junk food advertisements lead various health issues such as obesity and should be banned, while many people argue that junk foods are not responsible to health problems. These type of the advertisements should not be banned. From my perspective, I am favor in former view.

First and foremost, I strongly believe that these advertisements encourage people to eat fast food but it effects their health. This is the big reason, it should be banned. Those who become addicted to junk food are more likely to develop diseases such as obesity, fatty liver and intestinal cancer. Junk foods are not cooked in clean oil because of this reason they diagnosed with the hepatitis. I believe that consuming unhygienic food has become an enormous problems. Advertising manager creates colorful commercials to attract teenagers. Although, youngsters often persuade their parents to buy junk food.

On the other hand, others argue that it should not be banned. They believe that people should control their food cravings instead of blaming advertisements. Parents give information to their children about negative effects of fast food. Therefore, fast food advertisement inform people to what type of the menu they have in restaurants. They thought of these advertisements started to ban, that affects on the business. It affects the economy and business growth.

In conclusion, others feel that fast food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. In my opinion, I firmly believe that these TV adds have become a major problem. Government should be banned these types of the commercials.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the health impact of junk food is stated but lacks depth, and the counter-argument regarding the economy is mentioned briefly without sufficient elaboration. While the position is consistent, the supporting evidence is often anecdotal or generalized. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more specific examples or logical explanations for your claims, ensuring that each paragraph fully explores the implications of the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Although, youngsters often persuade...' which is grammatically awkward. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the use of 'others' in the conclusion, which repeats the prompt rather than synthesizing the argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'obesity', 'fatty liver', and 'commercials'. However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'I am favor in former view' (should be 'I am in favor of the former view') and 'TV adds' (should be 'TV ads'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Advertising manager creates'), article usage ('the obesity'), and awkward sentence construction ('These type of the advertisements'). There are also errors in verb tense and preposition usage, such as 'they diagnosed with' instead of 'they are diagnosed with'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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