Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Advertisement have become integral part of life by appearing on television, social media, public places and newspapers. Some people think that advertising is highly responsible for consumers purchasing decisions whereas others believe that it has become so common that they ignore them.

The junk food advertisement are usually really attractive, vibrant with a very catchy pickup line and background music. It definitely attracts the audience towards it. The production company spend huge amount on the advertisement of the junk food is because they are aware that they are going to get profit out of it. The junk food that is being advertised about should definitely give health warning on the advertisements related to obesity to avoid this problem. Hence, it cannot be denied that junk food advertisement do not contribute to obesity but it is not the only causing the obesity.

Banning the junk food advertisement only cannot contribute to resolving the problem of obesity. There need to be other actions taken by the government of the country to spread the awareness of the obesity and other health related problems contributing towards the society by the junk food consumption. The government can also do food test on the particular junk food before it is being advertised.

For instance, the noodles that are being advertised is one of the most unhealthy junk food but instead of banning the advertisement government can ask the factory to manufacture the healthier version of it. By advertising healthier version of the noodles and giving the health benefit consumers will definitely be inclined towards it.

In the end, banning an advertisement is not the solution to cure obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that advertising is not the only cause of obesity, the explanation remains superficial. For instance, the suggestion to 'do food test' is vague and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific evidence or logical reasoning regarding how advertising influences consumer psychology or why government intervention is more effective than a ban. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a central theme. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'For instance' and 'Hence' are used correctly, but there is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, some sentences feel disjointed, such as the transition between the second and third paragraphs. Improving the flow by using a wider variety of transition signals would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'integral part', 'consumers purchasing decisions', and 'inclined towards'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'pickup line' (which usually refers to dating) instead of 'slogan', and 'do food test' instead of 'conduct nutritional analysis'. There is also a lack of less common lexical items. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary related to health and public policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Advertisement have become', 'junk food advertisement do not contribute') and article usage (e.g., 'the obesity'). Some sentences are also grammatically incomplete or awkward, such as 'it is not the only causing the obesity'. You need to proofread carefully to ensure that pluralization and verb forms are consistent throughout your writing.

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