Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Obesity is considered a major health issue in many societies. It is commonly believed that advertisements of junk food are the main reason of this problem. So ads of junk food should be prohibited by authorities. while others argue that marketing of junk food does not cause of the obesity . So the advertisements of junk should be restricted.

Advertisements can persuade the customers to purchase different types of unhealthy foods. Companies offer several kinds of offers and discounts to buyers . They also create videos and images of the food which is usually more appealing than actual appearance. These ads run on television and social media. Consequently people buy and eat the unhealthy food . This can cause obesity in people from different age groups. For instance , Domino's provides delivery under thirty minutes which traps many buyers to buy their product. Therefore, the excessive marketing of unhealthy food should be restricted.

On the other hand ,marketing is an integral part of any business. It is a basic right of shopkeepers to run ads and do marketing of their products. Advertisement are used to attract wide range of customers . They do not make pressure on customers to buy junk food. It is on the choice of buyers either they eat healthy products or unhealthy items. Consequently it is the choice of customers which matters the most not the advertisements. So advertising should be present freely under Governments guidelines.

I believed that advertisements have nothing to do with obesity so it should not be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that advertisements persuade customers, the explanation remains quite general. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis or specific evidence regarding the impact of marketing on public health versus the economic rights of businesses. Your position is consistent, but the conclusion is very brief and lacks a summary of the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. Ensure that your opinion is integrated more thoroughly throughout the essay rather than just stated at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Consequently', 'Therefore', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, some sentences are short and choppy, which disrupts the flow of the text. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences are connected more smoothly to create a more cohesive argument. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prohibited', 'integral', and 'guidelines'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'make pressure on customers' (should be 'put pressure on') and 'advertisements of junk food' (should be 'junk food advertisements'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more academic synonyms for basic words like 'buy' or 'eat' to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the advertisements of junk'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For example, you wrote 'I believed that' instead of 'I believe that', and there are several instances of missing or misused articles. These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and try to incorporate more complex sentence forms, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, with greater precision.

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