Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Now a days, obesity has become a serious health problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is one of the main reasons for this issue and should be banned. Other argue that junk food advertising is not responsible for obesity. This essay will discuss both views giving my opinion.

On the one hand, many people think that the junk food advertisements encourage people, especially children, to unhealthy food. Television, social media, and billboards often show attractive advertisements for burgers, pizzas, soft drinks, and other fast foods item. As a result, children may ask their parents to buy this junk food and can lead to weight gain and risk of obesity. Therefore, supporters of this view believe that banning such advertisement could help reduce obesity and number of overweight people.

On the other hand, some people believe that advertising is not the main cause of obesity. They argue that people are responsible for their own eating habits and lifestyle. Even if junk food advertisements are banned, many people still eat unhealthy food because its convenient, cheap and tasty. In addition, a lack of physical exercise and spending too much time using smartphones also contributes to obesity. Therefore, improving public awareness and encouraging regular exercise may be more effective than banning such advertisements.

In my opinion, junk food advertisement does not have a negative impact on children, but it is not the only reason for obesity. People those who are suffering from obesity should avoid eating junk food and do exercise on daily basis to lose their weight.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that advertising encourages unhealthy eating, the argument could be strengthened by providing a specific example or a more detailed explanation of how this influence manifests in children's behavior. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding personal responsibility is relevant but remains quite general. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main idea is fully extended with specific evidence or logical consequences. Your position is consistent, but the conclusion could be more robust by synthesizing the two sides rather than just restating that it is not the only reason for obesity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your arguments. However, the transition between the final body paragraph and the conclusion is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some cohesive devices are used in a somewhat mechanical fashion. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid. The referencing is generally clear, and the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'obesity,' 'unhealthy food,' and 'public awareness' appropriately. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'fast foods item' (should be 'fast food items') and 'do exercise on daily basis' (should be 'exercise on a daily basis'). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and less common lexical items to express your ideas with greater sophistication and nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Now a days' (should be 'Nowadays'), 'Other argue' (should be 'Others argue'), and 'People those who are suffering' (should be 'People who are suffering'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more conditional or passive constructions, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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