Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In few places, obesity is considered as harmful and lead to severe problem. People have different views, Although few believe advertisement of junk food should be banned as it is responsible for this problem. I favor those who opine that junk food advertisement does not paly any role to this problem and should be remain.

On the one hand, people think advertisement of junk food plays significant role to lead this problem and should be banned. Junk food which is harmful to our health and this advertisement leads to health problems and it should be banned, advertisements which shous delicious foods but are not healthy. For instance, Now a days children below 10 years facing problem of obesity, as they are habitual of junk food, this advertisements which attracts them to consume junk food which leads to health problems.

On the other hand, I opine with people who ensure advertisement should be banned, as this is not involved in such problems of obesity because people should take care of themselves and should be aware. To be simplified, People think its our own responsibility to take care of our health and not get convince form such advertisements, it should not be banned because business get promoted and people get updates by these advertisements. For example, people think food advertisements should remain by businesses and parents should be actively concentrate upon their children for consuming junk food.

In conclusion, my opinion is that advertisements should stay remain as people have their own responsibility and to be aware towards their health, in addition, advertisements plays a major role in market place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, including both views and a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding personal responsibility is mentioned in the second body paragraph and again in the conclusion without significant expansion. While the position is clear, the supporting evidence is general rather than specific. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced arguments, such as discussing the role of government regulation versus individual autonomy, rather than restating the same points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To be simplified' are used incorrectly to introduce an explanation, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where 'this advertisements' is used inconsistently. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'conversely') would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'should be remain' instead of 'should remain' and 'get convince' instead of 'be convinced'. You rely on basic vocabulary throughout the essay. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and topic-specific terminology related to public health and marketing, such as 'regulatory measures', 'consumer behavior', or 'nutritional awareness'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('advertisements plays'), incorrect verb forms ('should be remain'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a beneficial next step.

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