Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Opinions vary regarding the course of obesity. While some people think junk food advertising is to blame and should be barned, others believe that it does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Examining both perspectives provides a clearer understanding of the matter.

Advertising junk food can encourage obesity. This is mainly because it encourages the individuals to try the product in the market. For example, citizen TV has been advertising the sweetness of KFC food and how easy customers can access. I personally purchased some products because I wanted to have a taste. I eventually became addicted to the product because it was sweet and ended up adding more weight. Therefore advertising of junk food should should not be blamed for causing obesity but its continuous usage and people should be informed about its effects.

However, advertising alone cannot cause obesity, if consumers can maintain a healthy life style by purchasing it only when needed to avoid addiction, I believe there will be no reason to think of banning junk food advertising. For instance, a person who has knowledge about a healthy lifestyle cannot just buy junk foods because he or she has seen an advert, but when the item is needed. Therefore, advertisement of junk food should not be banned but the people should be informed about the effects of consuming them.

In conclusion, although there are reasonable arguments supporting banning of advertising junk food, I believe that advertising alone cannot cause obesity but its regular consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding advertising is repetitive, and the personal anecdote about KFC, while relevant, lacks the depth required for a high-level academic essay. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should aim to expand on the societal implications of advertising rather than focusing solely on individual purchasing habits. The position is consistent, but the supporting evidence could be more robust and analytical to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For instance', and 'Therefore' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some sentences feel slightly disjointed due to the limited range of cohesive structures. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall flow and logical progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'obesity', 'addiction', and 'lifestyle'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'advertising the sweetness of KFC food' and 'continuous usage'. The word 'barned' is a spelling error for 'banned'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, moving beyond basic descriptive language to more sophisticated expressions that demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'advertising of junk food should should not be blamed' (repetition) and 'how easy customers can access' (missing object/preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences that could be improved by better use of commas or conjunctions. To improve, focus on reducing minor errors in subject-verb agreement and word order, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures with greater accuracy.

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