Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many societies have arise majr problem that is due to the obestity in humans and they caims that this is due to the junk food advertisement, but some disagree this point. However on my view i think junk food advertisement has a major role in this because advertisement offen means to intereact people towards overself and when people see these types of advertisement they are attracted towards it ostly when companies give many discounts and offers on these typs of food So when people see they have highly chance to taste these types of food.Companies advertise the users to theirself because of business revenue so we didn't stop companies from advertisement However, it didn't means advertisement is the only reason behind this because every person know his dieting routine and they know which food is heathy and which is unhealthy for him. There are many people how take care of their diet and make their physically fitness. So if person take care of his diet and make balance in eating junk food then these types of issues in socities rarely occurs. So both advertisement and people unawareness on their diet has role in this. To solve these issues we didn't clame to companies to stop advertising because it is againt the law as every business has freedom to expand itself and engage customers so it means advertisement is the reason but we didnt stop companises from this so the only solution is people s maintain their diet and physicall fitneess to avoid obestity cases.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. The argument that advertising is a factor but not the sole cause is relevant, but the explanation lacks depth and specific examples. The conclusion is present but feels rushed. To improve, you should expand on your points with concrete examples—such as how specific marketing tactics (e.g., social media influencers or fast-food discounts) influence consumer behavior—rather than relying on general statements. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more substance to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. It is presented as a single block of text, which is a significant weakness in terms of structure. While you use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'So', they are often used repetitively or incorrectly, leading to a mechanical feel. To improve, you must organize your response into distinct paragraphs: one for the argument in favor of banning, one for the opposing view, and one for your own opinion and conclusion. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence will greatly improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but is quite limited and repetitive. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'majr', 'obestity', 'caims', 'offen', 'intereact', 'typs', 'heathy', 'clame', 'againt', and 'physicall'. These errors, combined with basic word choices, hinder the overall quality of the writing. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'public health', 'consumer behavior', 'regulatory measures', or 'nutritional awareness'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every person know'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'people unawareness'), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'Companies advertise the users to theirself'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple or poorly connected compound sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'although', 'whereas', or 'consequently' to demonstrate better control over your grammar.
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