Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A group of people believe that obesity is a major problem and largely blame the junk food advertisements for the core reason behind it as well as advocate for banning those advertisements. On the contrary, others oppose this believe and recommend not to ban those advertisements. I stand with the former group of people here.

Obesity is a curse for any human being, as mind and body both gets affected by it. Obesity not only makes a man fat but also make him incompetent for most of the normal human activity. Obesity causes different types of diseases and the worst outcome is death. people in past were not as much obese as of today. Introduction of junk food is one of the core reasons behind it. Many studies show that people from the area of most junk food consumption tend to be more obese. In my childhood I was a very fit boy. But after I started to eat junk food, I became seriously obese. I was tempted by the advertisements aired on the television.

Studies showed that junk food got a hold upon our society after widespread of television programs about these foods. Not just television advertisement, sellers of these foods advertised their goods in many ways. After I stopped to pay a heed to these advertisements, I felt less attraction towards these foods and I was able to lose a significant amount of weights.

Human nature is to get tempted by the colorful and attractive presentation of foods. As junk food is very unhealthy and detrimental for human health, all advertisements related to these foods should be banned by immediate effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that obesity is a 'curse' and link it to junk food, the discussion of the opposing view—that advertising is not the primary cause—is entirely absent. To reach a higher band, you must explore the arguments of those who believe advertising should not be banned (e.g., personal responsibility, freedom of choice, or the role of parental guidance). The essay relies heavily on personal anecdote ('In my childhood I was a very fit boy'), which is less effective in an academic essay than generalising the argument to broader societal trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by simple transitions. You use 'On the contrary' and 'Not just television advertisement' to link ideas, but the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the paragraphs could be more sophisticated. For example, the transition from the general problem of obesity to your personal experience feels abrupt. Improving the use of cohesive devices to link your arguments more fluidly would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'detrimental' and 'incompetent', but there is a reliance on basic phrasing such as 'a group of people' and 'core reasons'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'widespread of television programs' (should be 'widespread use' or 'proliferation') and 'lose a significant amount of weights' (should be 'weight'). To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several grammatical errors, such as 'mind and body both gets affected' (should be 'get'), 'make him incompetent' (should be 'makes'), and 'stopped to pay a heed' (should be 'stopped paying heed'). Additionally, there are issues with articles and pluralisation, such as 'people in past' (should be 'in the past'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing.

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