Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, obesity is a very common disease in many countries, every person have their own opinion on it some say advertising of junk food is the main cause of it, other feels it does not contributes to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Lets discuss more about it.

On the one hand, people blame the advertising company for making these ads, as they know about their target audience is kids so, they just simply pick up the most famous superhero or actor to promote their product, children get inspired by it and use that product on daily basis. These companies also add some toy or cards while packaging, so that kids buy their product by getting their most favourable gift. According to a survey, obesity has been increased to 40% over the world in the last decade and mostly Asian kids are get trapped by these diseases.

On the other had, some people do not blame the advertising companies as, they are just doing marketing of their own product and also giving the description of ingredients behind the packet, they also say parents play a crucial role as, they can simply restrict there children to not consume the given product. People also mention that there product is approved by official food authorities, so they does not have the right to argue.

From my point of view , that advertising companies has the right to advertise their product but, government should take some steps to advertise their product and should give proper description before selling their product in market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The arguments regarding advertising strategies and parental responsibility are mentioned but lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning and clearer real-world examples to demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'On the other had'). There are instances where the flow between sentences feels disjointed, particularly in the introduction and the final paragraph. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'they' when referring to companies versus parents. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their intended antecedents would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'product', 'advertising', and 'obesity'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'get trapped by these diseases' or 'giving the description of ingredients'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to the topic, such as 'nutritional information', 'marketing strategies', or 'public health concerns', rather than relying on simple, repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every person have', 'companies... does not have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'obesity has been increased'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that verb tenses are used consistently throughout your writing.

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