Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that increasing obesity on an unprecedented scale has become a pensive concern. In this regard, some argue that advertisements of junk food is the major factor contributing to this trend and must be prohibited, while others oppose this idea and consider that it should not be banned. This essay will outline not only both the perspectives but also my opinion which is in favor of former point of view in forthcoming paragraphs with a relevant conclusion.

To commence with, there are numerous reasons why advertisements contribute to obesity and should be banned. The prime one is that it influences children's eating habits. To explain, children are particularly susceptible to persuasive advertising because they cannot fully distinguish between marketing and genuine information and junk food companies use colorful packaging and many cartoon characters to attract children. For instance, a child who repeatedly sees advertisements for sugary cereals or any processed foods may begin requesting these products from their parents instead of healthier alternatives. Moreover, advertising normalizes unhealthy lifestyle . To exemplify, advertisements not only sell food, it can make excessive consumption of unhealthy products seems normal. As a result, consumers may develop a positive emotional association with processed fast food and intake it more frequently.

Nevertheless, some people have their own reasons about advertisements should not be forbid and it does not lead to obesity. Firstly, obesity has multiple causes. To explain, obesity is a complex problem by several interconnected factors. As people become overweight because of poor diet , lack of exercise, genetics or sleeping patterns.

therefore, banning advertisements alone cannot solve the obesity crisis. To illustrate, someone who consumes excessive calories and rarely exercises may become obese regardless of junk food seen in advertisements. Secondly, a total advertising ban could unfairly restrict business and choices of consumers. to clarify it, companies have a legitimate right to promote their products, while adult should generally have the freedom to decides what they should intake in food, instead of prohibition. A good example of this is that the authorities could prohibit junk food consumption during children's television programs while still allowing companies to advertise under clear regulations.

In conclusion, although there are several points of advertisements are not the only factor to blame for obesity such as lack of exercise, poor diet and sleeping schedule also promote the fatness, yet in my view advertisements of highly processed food should be outlawed so that it does not influence a lot of public especially young age children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly discuss both views and provide a consistent personal opinion. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the point regarding children's susceptibility to marketing. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific evidence or real-world examples to support the counter-argument. While the position is clear, the conclusion is slightly repetitive in its phrasing. Overall, the response is well-structured and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively, demonstrating a good grasp of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless' to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the phrase 'in favor of former point of view' which lacks a definite article. Despite these minor slips, the overall flow is coherent and the structure supports the argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'unprecedented scale', 'particularly susceptible', and 'legitimate right' show a good level of control. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'pensive concern' (which is contextually incorrect; 'pressing concern' would be better) and 'intake it' (intake is usually a noun, not a verb). Additionally, 'promote the fatness' is an awkward collocation. Improving these will help you reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You demonstrate control over complex sentences, such as 'although there are several points... yet in my view...'. However, there are frequent minor errors in grammar, such as subject-verb agreement ('advertisements... is', 'adult should'), missing articles ('in food', 'in forthcoming paragraphs'), and incorrect verb forms ('should not be forbid'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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