Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that obesity is regarded as a major problem in some societies. In this regards, some individuals believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. This essay will be outline not only both views or perspectives but also my opinion which is in favor former point of view in forthcoming fragments with logical conclusion.

To commence with, firstly the advertising of junk food must be avoided from the children of the younger age groups. To illustrate, these advertisements may cope up the smaller children to have junk food while going out after watching certain type of fast food, as they may store in their minds to have it which may be harmful for their health at the younger age. Secondly, the junk food should be taken in the amount that may not harm or affect your health more than enough To elaborate, the junk food that contains a lot of vegetables and nutrient in it may be consumed once or twice a week. For example, consuming junk food once or twice a week may not affect your health as much they may affect in regular days after consuming it, this should only be consumed by elder individuals who like to visit different restaurant and enjoy different variety of food.

However, the junk food must be banned for those people who consume it everyday and not giving attention to their health. To illustrate, many people face different issues after consuming junk food, for example, heart problems, affects the lungs etc. Moreover, these junk foods does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned because people consume different foods for different taste.

To conclude with, in some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem but it does not provide the same contribution in each and every society, so the advertisements should not be banned as they also provide information about different type of food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state your position in the introduction, the body paragraphs lack clear focus. For instance, the second paragraph shifts from discussing the impact of advertising on children to giving advice on healthy consumption habits, which is not the core of the prompt. The third paragraph is contradictory, as it argues for a ban and then immediately claims advertising does not contribute to obesity. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear argument that directly supports your stated position, providing more logical evidence for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'To conclude with', but these are often used mechanically. The progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by confusing transitions, such as the sudden shift in the third paragraph where you contradict your previous point. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'junk food' and 'health', and some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'cope up the smaller children' and 'nutrient in it'. There are also minor errors in word formation and collocation. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic, such as 'nutritional value', 'sedentary lifestyle', or 'marketing strategies', and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('these junk foods does not contribute') and awkward phrasing ('This essay will be outline'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and pluralization to improve your accuracy.

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