Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that the demand for junk food and foreigner tastes become a pensive concern in this modern economy. In this regard, some masses believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and ought to be banned while other feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the issue of obesity and should not be banned. This essay will not only discuss both views but also my view in favor of former point of view in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are several reasons for blaming advertising for increasing demand of fast food. The prime one is that, increasing trend of using internet and adopting practices that are reliable in media is the major problem for obesity in younger generation. To explain it, children eat enough fast food as over consumption badly affect their health and cause many diseases. Secondly, attractive advertisement attract people to buy particular product or food even when they didn't have will to purchase it. Moreover, business minded people adopt better advertisement practices. To illustrate, teenagers are totally dependent on internet and they often find ads while watching videos which effect their mindset to try different food items and leads to obesity.

Nevertheless, there are so many other aspects that contribute to the problem of obesity. First and foremost, incline in franchises of international fast food chains play a major role in obesity. To elaborate it, increasing trend of travelling divert their mind to fast food chains and they prefer to eat their instead of Indian restaurants. To clarify, change in taste and preference due to luxurious life may badly affect teenagers to eat more fast food and leads to many diseases.

To conclude, there are several reasons in favor of latter point of view such as increase in international fast food franchise, change in taste and preferences yet according to me junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and ought to be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding advertising is repetitive, focusing mainly on 'internet' and 'teenagers' without exploring broader societal impacts. The second body paragraph, intended to discuss the opposing view, becomes slightly confused by focusing on 'international fast food chains' and 'travelling' rather than the specific argument that advertising is not the primary culprit. To reach a higher band, you should provide more distinct, well-supported arguments for each perspective and ensure your own opinion is more thoroughly integrated throughout the essay rather than just stated in the introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Nevertheless', and 'To conclude'. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'To clarify' and 'To elaborate it', which do not always introduce the intended logical link. Additionally, some referencing is unclear; for example, in the final paragraph, you refer to the 'latter point of view' but then proceed to argue for the former. Improving the precision of your cohesive links and ensuring that your referencing is consistent will help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. Phrases like 'foreigner tastes', 'pensive concern', and 'some masses' are unnatural and do not convey the intended meaning accurately. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'fast food chains' and 'over consumption', which is positive. However, the range is somewhat limited, and the errors in collocation occasionally hinder the precision of your arguments. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to social issues and health, and avoid using complex-sounding words if you are not entirely certain of their correct usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('advertisement attract'), incorrect verb forms ('effect their mindset' instead of 'affect'), and missing articles or prepositions ('eat their instead of Indian restaurants'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, you should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you are using the correct parts of speech. Proofreading for common errors like 'effect' versus 'affect' will also help raise your score.

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