Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, the problem of obesity is seen almost everywhere. Some people believe that the fast food advertisements are the leading cause of obesity and it should be banned. Others think that advertising fast food is not the reason for obesity and should not be banned. This essay will discuss both these views before explaining why I believe that too much adds are really detrimental to human health.
On the one hand, the fast food advertisements are beneficial for the development and economic growth of fast-food outlets. For example, the appealing adds, catchy logos, discount deals, and delicious mouth dripping slogans are attracting majority of individuals to eat burger, pizza etc. Consequently, the restaurants are making profit on a large scale. It is advantageous for the restaurants.
On the other hand, numerous people are eating this food everyday, which is greatly harmful to human health. It is the main cause of spreading diseases especially among young generations. The ratio of heart diseases, diabetes, obesity are observed in most of the young people. Junk food is the key reason for the storage of fats in the human body. Increasing cholesterol level can block the arteries, ultimately the chances for heart attack rises. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages. So, it is clear that promoting fast food have adverse effects on the society.
In conclusion, although quick- service restaurants will get advantages from advertising fast food, it would have a negative impact on human's well-being. Therefore, I believed that government should put a limit over too much commercials and adds.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that advertisements are beneficial for economic growth, the explanation is brief and lacks depth regarding the counter-argument. Similarly, the discussion on the health impacts of junk food is somewhat repetitive and relies on general statements rather than specific, well-supported evidence. To achieve a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the arguments, perhaps by discussing the role of regulation or the responsibility of consumers in more detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the transition between sentences within paragraphs can be slightly mechanical. For instance, the link between the economic benefits of advertising and the health consequences could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'fast food' and 'obesity.' Improving the variety of linking words and using more sophisticated referencing would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, including terms like 'detrimental,' 'economic growth,' and 'adverse effects.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'too much adds' (should be 'advertisements' or 'commercials') and 'mouth dripping slogans' (which is not a standard collocation). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'adds' instead of 'ads' or 'advertisements.' To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('promoting fast food have adverse effects' should be 'has') and article usage ('the ratio of heart diseases... are observed'). There is also an error in verb tense in the conclusion ('I believed that government should' should be 'I believe'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.
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