Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Due to people having sedentary lifestyle, many health-related problems are spreading like never before. Obesity is one of the major problems. Many people believe that the food adverts is the cause for people being obese. I opine that advertisements are not to blame and this essay gives supporting arguments.

To begin with, the concept junk food also known as fast food has been spreading quickly due to advancements in advertising and marketing strategies. Majority of the junk food manufactures use TVs, newspapers and social media applications such as Instagram and Facebook to promote their products. People get tempted by watching such adverts and want to consume the product. Moreover, children are the best soft target for many chocolate and food packets producers. A large proportion of children insists their parents to buy such products for them. As a result children develop a habit to eat such unhealthy food daily which increases their weight.

On the other hand, people's outlook on life has changed and also there is lack of physical exercises in their daily routine. They eat and then start working and due to this they gain much of the weight. Also, due to modern fast-pace lifestyle, nuclear families have taken place of joint families. As a result working parents fail to meet their children's diet and food requirements and often give them money to eat junk food when they are not at home. Due to this the obesity rate in children is higher than most adults.

In conclusion, people should not criticize the advertisements as a sole reason for them being obese. They should make major modifications in their lifestyle, diet and also include some physical activities .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the impact of advertising is discussed, the counter-argument regarding lifestyle changes is less detailed. The essay would benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the claims, such as mentioning specific health studies or more nuanced societal trends. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis is limited, which prevents it from reaching the higher bands. The conclusion is a bit brief and could have better summarised the main points to reinforce the overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally slightly awkward, such as in the sentence 'nuclear families have taken place of joint families'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved to sound more natural and sophisticated. Overall, the structure is functional and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their meaning clearly. There are some attempts at topic-specific vocabulary like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'manufactures', and 'nuclear families'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'food adverts is the cause' (should be 'are the cause') and 'children are the best soft target' (a bit unnatural). The range is sufficient for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. More varied and precise academic vocabulary would enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Due to people having sedentary lifestyle' (missing article 'a'), 'children insists' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'gain much of the weight' (unnatural phrasing). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor slips throughout. The student demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, but the frequency of errors prevents the writing from being considered highly accurate. Focusing on article usage and subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the grammatical control.

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