Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Obesity is regarded as a serious problem across many countries. Whilst some individuals agree that junk food advertising does not lead to the problem of obesity, I believe it can lead to some major health problems and should be banned because they are extremely attention grabbing, provoking a person to consume that food.

Individuals, especially the younger generations, are becoming extremely aware of their consumption choices and such advertisements do not influence them. The increased access to internet and information has made them aware of the side affects and diseases that can occur from consuming fatty foods. For example, Germany has seen a surge in teenagers subscribing to gym and nutritionist options. This proves they do not only stay physically fit, but also maintain a balanced diet. However, I do believe that such campaigns should be banned because the group of self aware people is still very low.

These days, junk food advertising has become very eye catching and immediately garners attention towards it. Advertising companies intentionally use colors and visuals, that psychologically appeal to a persons appetite, thus luring them into purchasing the product. Billboards are strategically placed, so passerby's can have a good glance at it. For instance, an ad run by a a very popular fast food chain during the half time show, grabbed significant attention, leading the burger displayed to be sold out across all branches in the country within a few hours. Therefore, I strongly believe in blaming advertisements for the rising problem of obesity.

In conclusion, although the society is profoundly becoming self aware of their health, I believe the attention grabbing nature of advertisements does attract people into consuming junk food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, particularly the discussion on the psychological impact of advertising. However, the development of the first viewpoint—that advertising does not contribute to obesity—is somewhat weak. The example regarding Germany is a bit anecdotal and lacks a strong connection to the broader global context of the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides are balanced in terms of depth and evidence. The position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a strength.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For instance', and 'Therefore' are used to guide the reader through the argument. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is mostly accurate, though the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive links to connect the ideas within paragraphs more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with some effective collocations like 'consumption choices', 'strategically placed', and 'psychologically appeal'. There are some minor errors, such as 'side affects' (should be 'side effects') and 'passerby's' (should be 'passersby'). While the range is sufficient to convey the message clearly, it lacks the more sophisticated, academic vocabulary that would characterize a higher band score. The use of 'attention grabbing' is repeated, suggesting a need for more varied synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, but there are some recurring errors. For example, 'a a very popular' contains a repetition error, and 'the burger displayed to be sold out' is slightly awkward phrasing. Punctuation is generally correct, though there are occasional slips, such as the unnecessary comma in 'visuals, that psychologically appeal'. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the grammar does not impede communication.

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