Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is believed by some individuals from certain societies that junk food advertising is the major reason for an increased in the number of obessed people, and it should be prohibited; however, others believe that such advertising has noting to do with this problem. I believe that a junk food should not be blammed for obesity, as the issue of obesity is mainly because of avoiding excercise.

A junk food contains harmful ingrediants such as cooking oil, and unhealthy spices. These ingrediants are proven to increase the level of cholestrol in human body. Promoting junk food would encourage people to consume it in larger quantity, resulting in an increased in a weight of consumer. That might lead to serious diseases. for example, more number of people are obessed in the USA due to an increased consumption of fast food, as the government allowed Mc Donald's and KFC to advertise their products on a television.

On the other hand, scientists believe that obesity is the reason of avoiding excercise. They have proven when disbalance between intake of calories and burning of calories is created in a body, the weight of person increases. Hence, blamming Fast-food companies is useless, as refusion by people for performing excercise after eating such a carbonated food is the main reason. For example, japanise people are fit and healthy, eventhough they consume the same fast food which are being sold in the USA. The main reason for this is that they excercise regularly.

In conlusion, although marketing of junk food encourage people to consume it, and it may lead to some serious health condition, I would blame the people for obesity, as they do not take care of their health and involve themselves in physical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between advertising and consumption, and the counter-argument regarding exercise. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding the USA and Japan is a good attempt at supporting evidence, but the explanation of the link between advertising and obesity is slightly simplistic. To reach a higher band, ensure that the connection between the points made and the overall argument is more robustly explained, particularly in the conclusion where the summary could be more nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand', 'Hence', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of ingredients and the example of the USA could be better linked. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'cholesterol', 'consumption', and 'physical activities'. However, there are several persistent spelling errors, such as 'obessed' instead of 'obese', 'ingrediants' instead of 'ingredients', 'blamming' instead of 'blaming', and 'japanise' instead of 'Japanese'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Expanding the range of vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling would significantly improve the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'an increased in the number', 'has noting to do', 'a junk food', 'more number of people', and 'the reason of avoiding'. These errors, while not impeding communication, occur frequently enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex structures. To improve, the student should focus on article usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional phrases, as these are areas where errors are most frequent.

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