Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, obesity has become a major problem in many societies around the world. Some people believe that the advertisement of junk food is a main cause of obesity and it should be banned, while others argue that there are other major factors that contribute to this increasing problem. In my opinion, although advertisement play an important role in purchasing junk food, other factors such as lack of time for self-care, and laziness are vital causes.
On the one hand, advertising junk food plays an important role to encourage people to buy fast foods. advertisers market junk foods in a way which shows food is very tasty and delicious. This as a result develops an odour of food and they impulsively order the food. In addition, advertiser's focus on providing food in affordable price encourages people from different classes including the middle and lower classes to buy the junk food. Furthermore, they do not advertise the food as it may have negative impacts on health, however, they market the junk food as healthy and beneficial. These factors of advertisement encourage people to buy the junk food and its rapid consumption impacts dangerously to their health.
On the other hand, an increasing trend to become successful in life motivates people to give priority to their studies and work. As a result, they do not care about their well-being and consume fats and other foods with higher calories. This lead to an increasing problem of obesity. Furthermore, with the rapid technological development, the majority of people now work using computer by sitting at a place all day. Moreover, they do not go for exercise also to maintain their physical health which contribute to obesity. The rapid use of machines to perform domestic chores also contribute to obesity when people do not make much physical effort.
In conclusion, effective advertisement encourage people to buy the junk food which leads to obesity. However, less self-care and introduction of machines to perform tasks related to work, studies, and home chores also contribute to this problem. In my opinion, the problem is due to lack of self-care and physical effort and can be solved by spending sometime for personal care.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the discussion on lifestyle factors. However, the development of the advertising argument is slightly repetitive, focusing heavily on the 'tasty' nature of food rather than broader societal impacts. The position is consistent throughout, though the conclusion could have more explicitly linked the two sides to the final verdict to strengthen the overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the use of 'they' in the second paragraph, which occasionally lacks a clear antecedent. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'impulsively', 'affordable price', and 'well-being'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'develops an odour of food' (which is unnatural) and 'impacts dangerously to their health' (should be 'impacts negatively on'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'advertisement play', 'advertiser's focus... encourages', 'This lead to') and article usage. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The control of punctuation is generally good, but the frequency of minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. A greater variety of error-free complex sentences would be needed to demonstrate higher grammatical control.
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