Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity is rapidly increasing day by day in our world, it has already taken it's place as one of the largest problems our society is suffering with.

Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to be blamed for this problem and should be banned. However the other part of the population says that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should thus not be banned.

Firstly we can understand where the view of the first opinion stems from, Most people suffering with obesity usually develop an addiction to eating various sorts of junk food. However these people are often largely influenced by social media advertising of junk food.

For example, it starts off as a harmless thing where a person looks at their favourite celebrity doing an advertisement of eating pizza on their phone and just like that, the person ends up ordering pizza too. This leads to the beginning of an addiction and thus we can assume that advertisements do end up contributing to the increase in obesity.

The second view is also justifiable as a person should have the power to control and not order mindlessly while looking at an advertisement. We cannot directly blame another person for the consequences of our own actions.

To finalize, it's safe to assume both of these sides have a valid argument however in my opinion, junk food advertisements should be banned since it does not benefit the people and is harmful to consume overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the example of celebrity endorsements is relevant, the arguments remain quite general and lack depth. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of your points, perhaps by discussing the role of government regulation or the psychological impact of marketing in more detail. The conclusion is clear, but the overall essay would benefit from more substantial supporting evidence or analysis to fully explore the implications of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Firstly', 'However', and 'To finalize', which help guide the reader. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationships between sentences are more fluid and less reliant on simple, repetitive connectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'justifiable', 'mindlessly', and 'consequences'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and repetitive in places (e.g., repeating 'junk food' and 'advertising' frequently). There are also minor issues with collocation, such as 'taken it's place' (should be 'taken its place') and 'doing an advertisement' (should be 'appearing in an advertisement'). To reach a higher band, aim to incorporate more precise, topic-specific collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing by using synonyms or paraphrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as the comma splice in the first sentence ('...day in our world, it has already...'), the misuse of the apostrophe in 'it's' (should be 'its'), and missing articles or prepositions. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of control over more complex structures. To improve, focus on sentence boundary punctuation and ensure subject-verb agreement and article usage are consistent throughout your writing.

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