Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that in few societies obesity is considered a major cause, while many individuals think that advertisement of fast-food is largely blamed for this problem and should be prohibited. Others claim that, these claims are false and junk food promotions have nothing to do with it and should not be banned. In this essay, i will discuss both aspect to give my opinion.

To begin with, there are two kind of societies nowadays; young and elderly people who have their own preference to eat and obesity is concerning. One main reason is that, most young generation tend to eat fast-food in their daily life, after watching ads on social media. Moreover, everyone consume social media almost four to five hours in a day, when, children and adult saw any promotion of food and feel craved which encourage them to eat and it is must be prohibited for the well-being of people. As a result, it helps them stop consuming junk food.

On the other hand, others claim that these advertisements have no relation with convincing every individual to prefer eating junk food. Instead of consistently watching they can ignore it. Likewise, obesity is a global problem because no one prioritise their personal life due to the fast-paced city life and those should not be banned in public. Therefore, societies should teach their individuals to stay strict to their diet and do not show any negligence.

To conclude this essay, if societies set boundaries for the sake of their people overall well-being and completely ignore what they show on internet whether about junk food or any other type of promotions. However, we cannot stop the advertiser to spend money to make such advertisement but we can overlook it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding social media consumption is a good starting point but lacks specific evidence or a deeper explanation of how advertising directly correlates to obesity rates. The conclusion is also slightly confusing, as it seems to contradict itself by suggesting we should 'ignore' advertisements while also acknowledging the need for boundaries. To reach a higher band, you need to provide more detailed, logical support for your claims rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'To begin with, there are two kind of societies nowadays' does not logically introduce the argument about advertising. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'these claims are false', where the antecedent is not explicitly defined. The final paragraph is particularly disjointed, with sentence fragments and a lack of clear logical flow between the points made about government boundaries and individual responsibility.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'fast-food', 'problem', and 'eat'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'feel craved' instead of 'experience cravings' and 'stay strict to their diet' instead of 'adhere to a strict diet'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary limits the score. Expanding your range to include more academic collocations would significantly improve your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everyone consume' instead of 'everyone consumes'), article usage ('the advertisement of fast-food'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are grammatically incomplete or poorly constructed, such as 'when, children and adult saw any promotion of food and feel craved'. While you attempt complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent, leading to errors that distract the reader.

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