Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the given topic we are going to discuss about the reasons of obesity and whether the advertisement of junk food is a the reason for it or not.
Obesity is one of the most common problem in our society the most come reason for the increase of this problem is their ignorance and those people don't even realise the dangers of this disease until it gets out of their hands. Yes junk food play a big role in the spread of obesity and advertisement of such things making it addictive towards the victims and our young generation.
Regarding to the fact that junk food is not the only reason for obesity but also the people who are obsess have no control on their diet and can't control their desire for the junk food. While knowing the fact that it's unhealthy and dangerous for them, banning the advertisements for food isn't gonna help but we should teach the patients about its dangers and how it's going to affect their health. They lack awareness they don't have anyone to teach them then while it should the be the governments duty to impose warnings or mentions the clear amount of calorie they are consuming so they can resist dangerous items, the food industries should release products for obese people regarding their health. Doctors and family members also play an important part in help such victims and can help them
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address both sides of the argument, the discussion is superficial and lacks depth. You mention that junk food advertising is addictive and that personal responsibility is also a factor, but these points are not supported with sufficient evidence or examples. Furthermore, your own opinion is not clearly stated or consistently maintained throughout the essay. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure that your position is clearly articulated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no formal introduction or conclusion, and the paragraphing is insufficient, with the second paragraph being overly long and containing multiple disparate ideas. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and often incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'Regarding to the fact that'. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences do not flow logically from one to the next. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks for each main idea and employ a wider range of linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand' to connect your thoughts more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. You rely on simple phrasing such as 'big role', 'common problem', and 'junk food'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'obsess' instead of 'obese' and 'victims' to describe people who eat junk food, which is not the most appropriate term in this context. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise, academic vocabulary and avoid repeating the same words throughout the text. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning collocations related to health and society will be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'junk food play'), article usage (e.g., 'a the reason'), and sentence structure, particularly run-on sentences that lack proper punctuation. Many sentences are grammatically incomplete or awkward, such as 'they don't have anyone to teach them then while it should the be the governments duty'. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures and struggle when attempting more complex ones. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and punctuation will help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
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