Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In our modern societies, the numbers of follower of fast food are significantly increase over the following decades, and it may not be healthful for you body. Therefore many individual argue that advertising junk food had largely rose the problem of obesity and need to be banned. While others believe that fast food advertising does not contribute in this issue of obesity and does not need to be banned. In this essay I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, many people believe that the only purpose of advertising fast food is to attract our mind toward the junk foods, from television show to mobile, every day we see multiples ads regarding to fast food. These individual argue that fast food can cause our health related challenges, such as, obesity, blood pressure, heart disease, and stomoke related issue in our daily life and they should need to be banned all over around the world.
On the other hand, some people feel that advertising of junk food is not only to pressurized you to purchase fast food, it's also a wear you about new delicious food that comes in the new market. These peoples believe that obesity and other health related problem has not just depended on junk foods and they should not need to be completely banned, because many people have their source of income from these businesses.
In my opinion, I personally believe that the advertising and eating junk foods should not need to be banned on the countryside. Although obesity is not only regarded as a major problem on eating fast foods, it can be also cause from other thing, such as, lack of daily exercise, eating more, and working on a seat, mean do not to walk in entire day.
In conclusion, Banning something depend upon on the government policies and permits, junk food advertising and eating are not only related to obesity. In general obesity can be occurs from other things as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding the economic impact of fast food is mentioned but not fully explored. The reasoning for the personal opinion is also quite brief, relying on general statements like 'lack of daily exercise' rather than providing more nuanced evidence or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more specific examples or logical consequences to ensure the ideas are fully developed rather than just stated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between government policies and the conclusion is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'obesity,' 'blood pressure,' and 'government policies.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'numbers of follower of fast food are significantly increase' (should be 'the number of fast food consumers has significantly increased') and 'wear you about' (likely meant 'inform you about'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and more precise, academic language would help elevate the quality of your response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('numbers... are... increase'), incorrect verb tenses ('had largely rose'), and awkward phrasing ('mean do not to walk in entire day'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are clunky. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb forms and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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