Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Obesity is a health factor one should take care of. Few believe that it is because of the advertisements, while, others believe that advertisements cannot be a reason for obesity and therfore food advertising should not be banned. In my opinion, the occurrance of obesity is solely in the hands of the person and advertisement should not be a reason.
On the one hand, people think that 'advertisements play a major role in what a person eats and hence it should be banned'. People get influenced by junk food advertising, leading to more junk food consumption. Advertising involves, marketing of a product, for consumers to make a purchase. Some people do get influenced by the advertised products, especially if the model in the advertise is a famous person. For example, If, Virat Kholi promotes Lays through advertisements, then people who follow Virat Kholi do end up purchasing Lays. Hence it somehow validates to the statement that junk food advertising could be a factor of obesity.
On the other hand, some people feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. People who are really consious of their health do not fall into the trap of the advertised junk food. A person who wants good lifestyle believes will definitely stay away from junk food. For Instance, a man who works out everyday and hits the gym, wants to stay healthy and fit, so even if he spots an add of any junk food, he will think of his health first.
To conclude, although advertisements play a major role in influencing people. I believe that advertisements does not contribute to the problem of obesity and need not be banned. We should be really conscious of our own health and should not get persuaded to eat junk food.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the influence of celebrity endorsements and the role of personal responsibility. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the argument regarding personal responsibility could be deepened by discussing environmental factors or socioeconomic barriers to healthy eating. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments rely on somewhat simplistic examples. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on the implications of your arguments rather than just stating them, ensuring a more thorough exploration of the complex relationship between advertising and public health.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the abrupt transition in the final paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences within paragraphs are more tightly connected would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'influenced' and 'persuaded', but the range is somewhat restricted. There are also a few spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'occurrance' (occurrence), 'therfore' (therefore), 'consious' (conscious), and 'add' (ad). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise academic vocabulary to move into the higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('advertisements does not contribute') and punctuation errors (e.g., unnecessary commas after 'For example' and 'For Instance'). The use of articles and prepositions is occasionally inconsistent. To improve, you should focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and refining the use of complex sentence structures, ensuring that punctuation is used to enhance clarity rather than disrupt the flow of your sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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