Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, obesity is one of the most common health issue in the society. While some people believe that this issue is attributed to advertisement of junk food and they encouraged ceasing of the advertisement others argue that obesity can’t be associated with advertising of junk food so they shouldn’t be restricted. Although both perspectives have merit, I firmly believe the widespread of obesity can’t be only associated with junk food advertisements. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand, the major reason why certain individuals argued that obesity is majorly caused by advertising of junk food is because they see advertisements as way people gets to know new products especially snacks and fizzy drinks. This means people have insight about a products through advertisement and this strategy enhances people to crave for that product. For instance, when people see the reaction of an artist who assisted soda company to promote their drinks may also want to taste it. Therefore, people that at risk of being overweight will also develop a feeling to taste the new product.

On the other hand, I support the people who argue that promotional contents for sugary products are not associated with obesity. This is because many activities can result in overweight and they believe junk foods are the least factor, so they see these products as a minor issue. This means, genetic factors and a sedentary lifestyle are more primary cause of obesity. For instance, a lady who works in an office and does not participate in an exercise or physical activity is more predispose to obesity. Therefore, there are some principal factors that can lead to overweight.

In conclusion, Although restricting the advertisement of foods that can expose people to overweight have some benefits, I believed this strategy is not the major factor that predispose people to obesity. Other factors like sedentary lifestyle and genetic factors should be put into much consideration.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is consistent throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding advertising is slightly repetitive, and the explanation of why junk food is considered a 'minor issue' lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific evidence or nuanced reasoning for why genetic factors or sedentary lifestyles outweigh the influence of marketing. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall development remains at a functional level rather than a fully extended one.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the use of linking words is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as the phrase 'this strategy' in the second paragraph, which could be more precisely defined. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would enhance the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'sedentary lifestyle,' 'genetic factors,' and 'promotional contents.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'health issue in the society' (should be 'in society'), 'widespread of obesity' (should be 'prevalence of obesity'), and 'predispose to obesity' (should be 'predisposed to'). To improve, focus on collocations and more precise academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('obesity is one of the most common health issue'), incorrect verb forms ('people gets to know'), and article usage errors ('a products'). Additionally, there are some awkward phrasings like 'they encouraged ceasing of the advertisement.' While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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