Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Obesity has been found to be a major problem in some societies. People tend eat junk or unhealthy food on daily basis with no proper exercise. Some people believe advertising is one of the significant factors to be blamed, however, some people don't agree to this viewpoint. This essay will discuss both the views and personally I believe that advertising of junk food could be a factor for increasing cases of obesity .
Advertisements play a major role for influencing people on what they consume. People largely blame advertising as one of factors causing obesity amongst people and demand that it should be banned. Individuals consuming media in their daily lives frequently get ads related to junk food. Even though they are not hungry, they feel the need to satiate this urge. Teenagers not aware of the consequences of eating junk food becomes the victim of obesity.
However, there are people who think that advertisements are not a leading factor for obesity. It is the responsibility of a person to take care of their health and keep a track on what they are consuming. They believe that banning advertisements are not going to restrict people for making the choices they take. It is a collective effort of people and families to ensure that they eat healthy.
I believe that these advertisements should be banned. Advertisement becomes one of the significant factors for the decisions we take in terms of consumption of food. Individuals or parents can't always keep a hold on their kids in terms of what they consume and whether they exercise.
In conclusion, we should focus on the content we intake whether advertisement are to banned or not.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding teenagers being victims of obesity is a good point, but it lacks specific evidence or a more detailed explanation of how advertising specifically triggers this. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the main points discussed. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting arguments with more concrete examples or logical reasoning, ensuring that the link between advertising and obesity is explored in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition 'However' is used to start the second and third paragraphs, which is functional but lacks variety. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'whether advertisement are to banned or not' feels disconnected from the preceding argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to follow your arguments without difficulty. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'satiate', 'consequences', and 'consumption'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor collocation errors, such as 'take a hold on their kids' instead of 'keep track of' or 'monitor'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire to include more academic collocations and synonyms would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'People tend eat' should be 'People tend to eat', and 'Teenagers... becomes the victim' should be 'Teenagers... become victims'. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'advertisement are to banned'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and verb forms will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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