Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are two opposite opinions over what is the reason behind people becoming obese, namely, junk food advertising that should be prohibited and the view that some other sources are the cause not junk food advertising. I totally agree that there are other factors leading to this issue and junk food is only one.

On one hand, the advertising of junk food on media and social networking sites entice many individuals to consume this kind of food particularly teenagers. For example, Mcdonalds invest a handful of money in advertisements to attract more clients in attending their outlets. Anyone who live in a big city see clearly how Mcdonald's store are populated with customers. The same goes for other giant food corporations. Hence, with the routine of eating outside, people become more and more obese.

On the other hand, not only eating junk food that cause obesity but also not exercising. There are many residents that eat junk food occasionally. Nevertheless, they pursue a healthy diet by cooking at home the majority of cases. Furthermore, they go to the gym and run three to four time a week or doing another type of exercise like martial art and swimming depending on each one preference. This will lead to a good shape despite the fact of eating junk food.

To conclude, although the consumption of fast food regularly would definitely have as an effect overweight, I am convinced that adopting healthy diet such as eating and cooking at home with exercising frequently is the key to have a healthy body.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that junk food advertising entices teenagers and that exercise is a counter-factor, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific evidence or deeper analysis. For instance, the point about McDonald's is a good start, but it lacks a direct link to how this specifically causes obesity beyond general observation. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, providing a more balanced and detailed discussion of the opposing view.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more sophisticated. For example, the transition between the discussion of junk food and the importance of exercise could be smoother. Ensure that you use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more naturally rather than relying on standard signposting.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prohibited', 'entice', and 'corporations'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that prevent a higher score. For example, 'invest a handful of money' is not a standard collocation; 'invest significant capital' or 'spend vast sums' would be more appropriate. Additionally, 'attract more clients in attending their outlets' is slightly awkward. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'Anyone who live' (should be 'lives'), 'not only eating junk food that cause' (should be 'it is not only eating junk food that causes'), and 'three to four time' (should be 'times'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed accurately. Proofreading for these common errors will help you achieve a higher band score.

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