Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, there is considerable debate over whether advertising unhealthy food contributes to rising obesity rates or whether other factors are primarily responsible. I largely agree, advertising of junk food is responsible for the growing rate of obesity.

On the one hand, some people blame commercial breaks who promote junk foods during the TV programs. Because they know the time of children favorite programs on TV, therefore they advertise their products on that time. The curiosity to taste these unhealthy food items has been increased in children which leads to create several stomach diseases. For instance, the KFC introduce the fried-chicken products during T.V programs in breaks and also offers many schemes such as buy-one-get-one free. So the children purchase these junk food because they think that it is affordable, however they even know about consequences. To protect youngsters from several stomach diseases this type of advertisement should be banned.

On the other hand, others argue that advertisement is not responsible for obesity. It is the the responsibility of the parents and teacher. they should teach them what type of food they have to eat. Furthermore they have to keep eye on their diet. For example, parents know about the medical history of their children, so they have to plan plan their diet and have to ensure that they eat legitimize food according to their health. Many experts do awareness programs regarding diet do on TV. They just to watch the,

To conclude this, advertisement plays a vital role to increase rate of obesity. Therefore these advertiser should be banned . From my perspective, our digital life is fully covered with advertisement, the government should banned harmful banners and adds to reduce obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph provides a specific example (KFC), which is good, but the second body paragraph is underdeveloped and ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence ('They just to watch the,'). While the position is clear throughout, the arguments could be extended further to reach a higher band. The conclusion is relevant but slightly repetitive in its phrasing. To improve, ensure that every point is fully explained and that all sentences are complete, avoiding abrupt endings that leave arguments hanging.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance'. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'So the children purchase these junk food because they think that it is affordable, however they even know about consequences' is confusing due to the misuse of 'however'. Additionally, the final paragraph lacks a smooth transition from the previous point. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the ideas connect more logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express basic ideas. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'obesity rates', 'commercial breaks', and 'awareness programs'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'legitimize food' (likely meaning 'healthy' or 'nutritious') and 'fully covered with advertisement'. Some words are used incorrectly, which occasionally forces the reader to infer the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('KFC introduce'), incorrect preposition usage, and punctuation errors. The sentence 'They just to watch the,' is grammatically incomplete and incoherent. There are also issues with article usage ('the the responsibility') and pluralisation ('advertiser should be banned'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence completion is essential.

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